How many times have you opened the wardrobe only to discover your favourite sweater is suspiciously missing? Or caught a glimpse of those cosy socks you just bought under the dinner table… on feet that are not your own? Well, us too. There are some items that inevitably become shared property between two lovers, whether you like it or not. Instead of fighting it, maybe we need to just give in – and get that thieving sneak to go halves on that investment jacket we’ve had our eye on.

My better half regularly points out the number of near-identical khaki shirts, overshirts, chore jackets and field jackets I own. But that doesn’t stop her from straying into the wrong side of the wardrobe, pulling one out and wearing it. And then there’s my bomber jacket… (Or is it hers?) It means that, when we go out together, we often look like some sort of ramshackle paramilitary unit. And while I say I’d take a bullet for her, hopefully it won’t come to that.

Like most of the UK, I’ve not had a haircut since before Christmas, which now means I’m sporting a full lockdown hair-don’t. While I’m spending long days hiding my tonsorial disaster under a favourite baseball cap, my other half is out walking our home-schooled kids in my beautiful cashmere beanie from The Elder Statesman. This is to inform her that I’ve taken note and I’m monitoring the situation closely. What’s more, I’m buying another – another – pair of these glorious Thunders Love socks. Why? Because even though I own a pair already and love them dearly, they invariably find their way into my wife’s sock drawer.

If lockdown has proved anything about my increasingly domesticated home life, it’s how much my girlfriend loves to steal – I mean borrow – my hooded sweatshirts. I can’t blame her. Everyday wear that will keep you cosy and warm in the comfort of your own home is always a win-win. Either of these simple, yet classic hoodies from Aimé Leon Dore or Polo Ralph Lauren would be a great addition to my wardrobe, although it might be best if I double up this time around.

I’d say my girlfriend and I share about 60 per cent of our wardrobe. Her style is superior to mine, so I get the better side of the deal. But when we buy something new, it means she calls the shots. This cosy striped sweater from Acne Studios will do us both nicely. Also see this fluffy LOEWE scarf – we can fight over who gets to wear it for our daily escape-from-lockdown walk and share accordingly. Call it sartorial socialism.

I’d like to think that I’m the one in our relationship with the impeccable taste. Often, I will lust after something I can’t afford and then my fiancé buys it – for himself. Alternatively, he might buy me something I’ve wanted for my birthday, but you can be sure this is a gift for himself as much as for me. I’ve made my peace with this. That said, I’ve run out of – sorry, we’ve run out of – The Rich Cream moisturiser by Augustinus Bader and we’re drying up without it. Also, I wish he’d stop using up my candles when he’s in the bath. Our candles, I mean.