Weddings are tests of diplomacy at which a dance can be an act of war. You must get it right. No other set of circumstances brings together so many tenuously connected strangers, puts them in a giant tent, fills them with wine and subjects them to the music of Mr Chris de Burgh. If you dance - and you must dance - it will likely be to music you loathe. By your side will be any combination of best friends, old enemies, loved ones, confused pensioners and hyperactive children, and you must adapt. What began as a slow clinch with an amorous bridesmaid to the sensual tones of Mr Marvin Gaye might devolve into doing "The Time Warp" with a four year old. Unlike any other area of your life, the key here is to try to please everyone.
Illustrations by Mr Angelo Trofa