THE JOURNAL
Mr Alan Ruck in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, 1986. Photograph by Paramount Pictures/CBS via Getty Images
Heard the one about Mr George Ezra cancelling shows due to the chicken pox? What about all your colleagues sniffling and snuffling their way back into the office (Covid negative, of course). The pandemic may be easing, but regular ol’ sickness? Oh, that’s back, baby.
Ironically, the thing about the Covid-19 pandemic is that – if we were lucky enough to evade the ’rona – remarkably few of us got sick. Turns out you need to be around people, touching subway poles, sloppily sharing drinks at a bar or holding snotty toddlers in order to come down with a cold. And while we were all actively not doing any of that, we remained relatively healthy in our little bubbles. For example, only 2,038 cases of the flu were recorded in the US between September 2020 and April 2021. (The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated that 38 million Americans were sick with the flu the winter before.)
This is, of course, a good thing. The flu can be deadly. Let’s ban the flu. However, the unintended consequence here is that we’ve all gone a bit soft – and not just around the middle. We’re like newborn babes, emerging into the world, with sleepy immune systems completely unprepared for what’s to come. What even is a cold, you may wonder, gazing at your out-of-date Sudafed.
Local laws and restrictions allowing, many of us are mixing again and therefore so are the microbes in our bodies. We’re getting the first colds that we’ve had in a long, long time and from a quick perusal of social media feeds… we’re not handling it very well. Tales of “super-cold” or “awful viruses” are being passed around like ghost stories.
“As it turns out, ‘super colds’ are just regular colds, and we can’t remember what it’s like to be sick after too much time watching Euphoria and eating homemade sourdough bread”
“Oh yes,” they will respond, with a knowing nod. “My third cousin’s wife’s mother-in-law had that last week, there’s some horrible bug going around.” Then they will back out of the room.
Yet as it turns out, “super colds” are just regular colds, and we can’t remember what it’s like to be sick after too much time watching Euphoria and eating homemade sourdough bread. According to Professor Neil Mabbott, an expert in immunopathology at the University of Edinburgh, we’ve just forgotten what it’s like to be sick. And, unfortunately, the only way out is through.
“Drink fluids and get rest,” your doctor will say. “Blow your nose sparingly,” says the first piece of advice on wikiHow’s entry for “how to treat a cold”. Eat chicken soup (number 10) – apparently, science backs this one up. But for those of us who need a reminder of what you really need to do when you have a cold, please see the list of tips below:
01.
Just… deal with it. You’re fine
End of list.
Stay safe out there, and remember, when in doubt: take a rapid flow test. Oh, and do stay home from work. Even if it’s not Covid, nobody else wants it.