THE JOURNAL

Don’t believe everything thing you read. There are those who will tell you that this is a maxim to live by all of the time, what with the bulk of the mainstream media in the service of maniacal Bond villain-like proprietors, North Korean bots or, most enigmatically, “The Man”. But even for the more rational among us, it is especially true today. Before you drink that Kool Aid though, check your calendar. Because it’s April Fool’s Day, where tradition dictates that even the most straight-laced of institutions and outlets will attempt to fool gullible Mr Joe Public.
Take the BBC. Seemingly a woolly national broadcaster run for the benefit and education of the British people, it has repeatedly attempted to dupe its own licence-fee payers with pranks including news reports on trees that grow spaghetti, flying penguins and the trial of technology that would allow it to transmit smells to households across the nation. Even the European Union, in no one’s estimation a body likely to revive MTV’s Punk’d show any time soon, last year got in on the action, trolling Brexiting Britain with a press release announcing a continent-wide switch to blue passports. What a lark.
So, while British folk – whom, let’s be honest, will take any old thing plastered across the side of a bus as gospel – might spend the day rocking in a chair and humming the refrain from Kelis’ “Trick Me” to themselves (to be fair, they have bigger fish to fry right now, so let them get on with it), don’t be a mug.
As a MR PORTER reader and even customer, we have no intention of insulting your intelligence with talk of elaborate mithril shirts featuring buttons fashioned from unicorn horns or coats decorated with wookiee pelt (we have a strict anti-fur policy, anyway). Indeed, the array of seemingly mythical goods gathered here are all genuine, actual products forged through unlikely partnerships that we sell on site for real, and all of it recently landed.
Without further ado, here are four items that aren’t so much outlandish in themselves (although at least one is) but represent bold new moves for the brands behind them. Take this ballpoint pen by Affix, the streetwear collective founded by Messrs Stephen Mann, Kiko Kostadinov, Taro Ray and Michael Kopelman. While the brand is noted for its stripped-back workwear, its collaboration with Troika, a German manufacturer of keyrings and home-office wares, takes that brief a bit further. Machined from silver-tone brass, it features a 10cm ruler, mini screwdriver and spirit level, making it entirely more useful than the stubby pencil you stole from Ikea. So, if you’ve got to draw the line somewhere, do so with this remarkable implement.
Never to be out done, trailblazer of unlikely partnerships Vetements has teamed up with, no, not a delivery service or its own holding company, but an actual manufacturer of sunglasses to produce a line of eyewear. This pairing with Oakley points to the future both metaphorically and literally, with big pointy spikes that jut out the front. Look sharp.

A partnership-led offshoot of the fabled Alpine technical garment stable, Moncler Genius is no stranger to experimental output. Its latest association with Japanese musician and designer Mr Hiroshi Fujiwara covers a lot of fairly familiar ground – hoodies, tees, bombers and sneakers, all both prominently branded and yet chicly minimal – but a standout for us is this silk-twill bandana. What at first glance looks like a traditional paisley print is, on closer inspection, blended with logos and barcodes.
And, melding the furtive imaginations of Gucci creative director Mr Alessandro Michele and the cryogenically frozen (urban legend suggests) filmmaker Mr Walt Disney comes an especially striking plastic tote bag celebrating the 90th birthday of a certain cartoon mouse. Produced in Italy using an innovative 3D-printing technique, and arriving soon on site, it’s proof we’re not taking the mickey, even if Gucci might be.
All of which should be enough to have you tear off your tinfoil hat, breathe in the chemtrails, knock back whatever they’ve slipped into the water supply and embrace the tomfoolery to be had elsewhere on this fine morning. And thank MR PORTER’s What’s New page for a host of joyful items to stick on your Wish List right now.
Did we also mention we boast a splendid line of tinfoil hats?