How to get fit without going to the gym.

There is no shortcut to a perfectly chiselled beach body. However, there are some crafty and surprising ways to get bang for comparatively minimal buck. Disclaimer: you won’t body-double for Mr Zac Efron in Baywatch, if you even want to, but you should see some gain without a great deal of pain. Combine these tips with hard training and dietary discipline, if you can be bothered, and who knows? If you want to tone up by sleeping, watching more Netflix and running less, read on.

All alcohol derails the gain train, but vodka and soda water will at least save you 80 calories on tonic. Wine is calorific but, unlike beer, you tend to sip it and you are often satisfied with two (glasses, not bottles). Just try not to chase it with a kebab. Champagne is even lower in calories, Ultra Brut lower still, but it’s hard to put the cork back in.

Hit “watch again” on Netflix before you hit the hay. Rewatching a favourite TV show of an evening increases your willpower, which is depleted throughout the day by decision-making and self-control, according to the University of Buffalo. The lack of mental effort involved is what makes it so restorative.

Stay in bed. A sleep deficit of just half an hour a night raises your obesity risk, says the Endocrine Society. And while the usual recommendation is to maintain a regular bedtime and alarm, South Korean researchers reckon that catching up by lying in at the weekend could help to keep your weight down.

(but more often)

Graze on exercise “snacks”, short bursts of relatively intense movement, such as taking a few flights of stairs or power walking, sprinkled throughout the day. That might not sound lazy, but it is compared to 30 minutes in the gym. And Kiwi academics discovered it’s also more effective at controlling blood sugar. Win, win.

If you do only one actual exercise, swing a kettlebell. The “minimum effective dose” prescribed by productivity guru Mr Tim Ferriss in his book The 4-Hour Body is 75 reps with 24kg twice a week, resting as required. He did a few other moves, but maintained that the swing is “all you need for dramatic changes”.

Skip your run. The journal Research Quarterly For Exercise And Sport reported that skipping for 10 minutes elicits the same cardio gains as jogging for half an hour, while German boffins determined that it requires 24 per cent more power. Skipping also ropes in your arms and shoulders and improves posture.

Have a tea break, but swap your builder’s brew for the viridescent variety. According to The American Journal Of Clinical Nutrition, green tea burns up to 4 per cent more calories without the palpitations caused by questionable fat-blasting supplements, which often contain green tea extract.

Fidget. Tapping your feet or chewing gum is marginally less lazy than doing nothing, but boosts your metabolism by as much as 25 per cent. The Mayo Clinic concluded that non-exercise activity thermogenesis can add up to 350 culled calories over a day and may be the difference between fat and lean. NEAT indeed.

The University Of South Carolina found that every 10 tweets sent by subjects corresponded to losing 0.5 Per cent of their bodyweight. They were tweeting about their weight-loss progress and benefiting from the accountability and support, but going on a political rant will probably burn a few calories, too.

You probably won’t lose all that much weight, unless it’s been a long time since you last visited the barber, but you’ll look like you have. Hence why it’s an old trick of before-and-after photos, along with trimming the hair on your body. Trim rather than remove, lest your laziness be over-exposed.

Tanned skin appears more toned, which is why after photos are taken following a trip to St Tropez and bodybuilders look like they’ve had a bath in Cuprinol wood stain. Rather than bake on a carcinogenic sunbed, fake it with a DIY product or the help of a skilled professional.

It can be tempting to drown yourself in baggy swimwear in an attempt to hide your body. But, as with any clothing, that’ll only make you visually wider. Conversely, fitted and shorter shorts will elongate your physique. Mid-thigh is a safe bet unless you’re tall and thin, which longer swimwear will counteract. For more detail on choosing the right swim shorts, check out the MR PORTER guide here.