THE JOURNAL
Illustration by Mr Miguel Monkc
“It doesn’t need altering, it needs surgery.” That was the appraisal of a friend inspecting my wedding suit before I took it to a tailor. He wasn’t wrong. The trousers were short and shapeless, the jacket flapping about my torso like bed linen blown against a fence post. This is the reality for lanky men buying off-the-peg: even with stuff in “your size”, there’s no telling how it will look.
Fortunately, the surgery was successful. My wife must have thought I looked marriage material on the big day because she said, “I do,” when it might have been, “So long, Stretch”. But in the years before and since, she’s had to endure an awful lot of, “How does this look?”
I’m 6ft 5in. I stopped trusting mirrors a long time ago, partly because I can seldom find one that fits my preposterous frame top to bottom. But it’s only the start of trouble for vertical one-percenters such as myself.
Shirts never stay tucked. Not ever. You wear trousers on your hips and not your waist, like Ms Britney Spears circa 2002. Your T-shirts ride up, exposing all manner of sins, while Harrington jackets look like those miniature cardigans women sometimes wear to keep their shoulders warm. One of the great tragedies of my life is that I spent ill-judged amounts of money on trendy workwear-inspired labels, only to find that everything is cut short and boxy.
Even “big and tall” collections rarely measure up. Most of them assume you have the physique of a rugby player when the truth (in my case at least) is closer to Mr John Cleese doing the Ministry of Silly Walks.
The funny thing is, us tall men are supposed to be the alphas. In evolutionary biology, height is associated with interpersonal dominance and social ranking. Research on the subject suggests that I’ll earn more money than a shorter man with the same qualifications and that, thanks to natural selection, I’m physically irresistible to the opposite sex. One study claimed that heterosexual women have a preference for men 8in taller than they are.
In my experience, though, these are tall, tall tales. A lot of men my height are awkward and apologetic, a gangly, dancefloor-avoidant breed. If short-man syndrome makes some guys overcompensate with bullish behaviour, I’m what you might call a plus-size wallflower.
This self-reticence is something reflected in the wardrobes of most of the very tall guys I know. We don’t court attention with bold clothing. Our genes make us conspicuous enough, so there’s no need for our jeans to make the point twice over.
“Tall men can wear clothes probably better than anyone. When a guy has long legs, it means he can pull off all manner of pants”
I want to look good, of course, but when you think about the best-dressed tall men, they tend to sport big looks that are difficult for the average beanpole to reproduce. Mr Michael Jordan’s 1990s tailoring, Mr Jeff Goldblum’s latter-day rock-dandy, Mr Pete Davidson’s mall-rat scuzz. That kind of swagger is only convincing when there’s a small battalion of paparazzi following you around.
Instead, I look up to – well, eye to eye with – lanky men with quietly assured style for inspiration: Messrs Adam Driver, Tyler Perry and Chris Hemsworth. Accuse me of playing it safe, perhaps, but that’s what happens when your wardrobe history is a catalogue of experiments, many of which blew up in the trouser department.
If you have long legs, received wisdom is that you go slim: a 511, not a 501. In my younger days, I took this too far and, like every other fool with a Y chromosome, went through a phase of wearing skinny black jeans. I’d love to tell you that I looked like a Mr Hedi Slimane model or one of the Ramones, but the truth was closer to a concept sketch for a movie by Mr Tim Burton.
Other old-school advice has served me better. Wide shirt collars, horizontal stripes, chunky knitwear and bulky layers are all in the rotation because my body is essentially one long vertical axis and details such as these add width, drawing the eye from side to side instead of up and down.
“You’re looking to play with proportion,” says Mr Jason Rembert, a Hollywood stylist who has dressed high rollers such as Mr Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Succession star Mr Nicholas Braun. “Some taller gentlemen will have longer torsos, for example. In that case, I like to even things out with a high-waist pant.”
For similar reasons, I like a strong breast pocket. Overshirts, field jackets and Western shirts add some much-needed breadth to your upper body. Likewise, Henley shirts and baseball collars give an illusion of broad shoulders. Drape is also important because when you’re tall, the fabric you wear has a long way to fall. It’s why I wear a lot more twill than linen: it flaps about less, offering a kinder silhouette.
I would like to be a little more adventurous, though, something Ms Ilaria Urbinati understands. Another go-to stylist for Hollywood’s finest, she styles taller men including Mr John Krasinski and Mr Dwayne Johnson.
“A lot of tall men think they can’t get away with wearing the same clothes as everyone else, when in fact they can wear clothes probably better than anyone. When a guy has long legs, it means he can pull off all manner of pants,” she says. “One mistake tall men make is that they quit on giving a certain item a try because it’s short, when there’s so much you can do with tailoring.”
Rembert agrees, suggesting the NBA is a hotbed of good style for the lanky man. “You see athletes who are 6ft 8in, 6ft 9in, 6ft 10in wearing cropped jackets and exploring fashion a lot more these days. There’s so much adventurous style out there.”
On his recommendation, I look up basketball players such as Messrs Russell Westbrook, James Harden and Shai Gilgeous-Alexander. They look great. They also take risks that I would never dream of: embroidered jeans, head-to-toe pattern, short shorts.
Perhaps the long and short of it is to rise above our perceived limitations, no matter our height. With a good surgeon on speed dial, you can get away with more than you think.
High style
Three tips for dressing as a tall man
01.
Tailor everything
Not just your suits. Most of us wear casual clothes far more than tailoring, but there’s a reticence to take those pieces to an alterations shop. That’s a mistake, says Urbanati. “With jackets, you can size up for the sake of the length of the body and sleeve and then tailor the body of the jacket.” She also has pieces of fabric added to shirt sleeves to make sure they hit the right spot on the wrist.
02.
Invest in key pieces
Rembert recommends filling your wardrobe with staples you know will flatter your frame. “Knitwear is number one for me,” he says. Chunky knits add bulk and proportion, even length with some styles. Likewise, a double-breasted blazer creates the impression of a V-shaped torso. Outerwear is also key, says Rembert. “Three-quarter length coats always work well to play with proportion and break up the long line on your lower body.”
03.
Embrace wider silhouettes
Break free of the slim-fit trouser, says Urbanati. “Looser fits are way easier on taller men. You need long legs to really pull off some of those slouchier, pleated trousers. On a shorter guy, it’s more likely to swallow him up a bit.” Just remember to Goldilocks the length. “Too short and you like a kid, too long and it gets really sloppy really quickly. Ask your tailor for a no-break length that hits right at the top of your shoe.”