THE JOURNAL

Illustration by Mr Giordano Poloni
Hopefully, no one who reads MR PORTER has ever been an internet troll – but there is more to being a decent gentleman online than avoiding immature conflict.
Cc’ing colleagues into emails unnecessarily and clogging up their inboxes. Incessant bragging on Instagram – do we really need to see an unboxing video of your new Yeezy Boosts? And let’s not mention all those lovers you’ve heartlessly ghosted. The world of digital communications is fraught with behaviour that can seem rude and unprofessional.
“Good manners apply to our digital selves just as much as they do in IRL,” says Ms Victoria Turk, senior editor at British WIRED magazine, and author of Digital Etiquette, an irreverent guide to how we can all contribute to making the online world a nicer, more civilised place in which to inhabit. “You might know your way around a dinner party, but how confident are you on the etiquette of WhatsApp groups? I wanted to write a Debrett’s guide to digital communications.”
So here are her top tips for social etiquette in the brave new world of digital communications.

Work
Email less and email better
Liberté, egalité – and a firm, “non” to emails outside office hours. The French have not only given us the gift of enlightenment philosophy, but also enshrined one of the key tenets of digital etiquette into law. The “right to disconnect”, essentially grants French workers the legal authority to ignore work emails outside office hours. “Good email etiquette really revolves around one thing: reducing it as much as possible,” writes Ms Turk. “A considerate emailer takes up as little of their recipient’s time as possible. They email only when strictly necessary and take pains to make their messages as easy to deal with as possible.”

Digital romance
How to make the first move
Ms Turk believes in making the first move when it comes to online dating as research from OkCupid shows that whoever messages first is more likely to get their partner of choice. But whatever you do, don’t just write, “Heyy”.
Putting together a decent first message isn’t rocket science,” writes Ms Turk. “You can break it down into a simple formula: Positive reference to something on their profile + question = decent chance of success.”
Examples, might include, “Cute dog! How old is he?” or “Nice Statue of Liberty picture. When were you in New York?” In doing so you’ve proved that you’ve taken the time to look at their profile and comment on something specific to them. You’ve also made it easy for them to respond, because almost no one knows what to do with, “heyy”. Avoid commenting on their looks as this might come across as sleazy.

Friendship
A friend never leaves you “blue-ticked”
According to Ms Turk, prompt responses to messages are a critical part of text etiquette. A quick, typo-laden message saying that you’ll get back to them when you get a moment is better than a beautifully written response hours later. Leaving them on read or, as is the case with WhatsApp, “blue-ticked” is the ultimate faux pas. “The anxiety, anger and shame that come with being left on read can be brutal,” writes Ms Turk. “Those little blue ticks cruelly strip you of the lies you could otherwise tell yourself as to why you’re not messaging back… Your message has been read and ignored and deemed unworthy of a response.”

Community
How to quell your inner troll
There’s a tendency to think that trolls are a small minority intent on ruining the internet for everybody else. But research conducted by Mr Lucas Dixon, chief research scientist at Google’s Jigsaw, a department that develops tools to help detect and moderate toxic comments on internet forums, believes that anyone can be capable of trolling, something he calls: “bad-day hypothesis”. He advises taking a step back to reflect when you can feel your inner troll rising. The most obvious sign that a conversation is turning sour is when someone makes an “ad hominem” attack on a person’s character rather than criticising their argument.
