THE JOURNAL
Illustration by Mr Joe McKendry
Do you know your sea salt mist from your texturising crème? With help from the experts at Bumble and bumble, MR PORTER decodes the hair products in the grooming department – and breaks down which one is right for you.
Choice is obviously a good thing when it comes to certain areas, such as what you’d like to have for dinner, and who you’re going to have it with. But in other areas, it can be a little overwhelming, something that’s particularly true of men’s grooming. Where, historically, there has been a dearth of choices in this field, now there are rather a lot – so much so that the titular question of this article is itself a little outdated. “Hair gel?” No one really says that any more, or, if they do, run the risk of sounding a little bit hair 1.0. Instead, you might find yourself squeezing out a glob of “texturising crème” (the grave accent is important, apparently) or spritzing with “salt spray” each morning, before you leave the house for work. But are you 100 per cent clear on why? To help you out in this respect, as we launch a range of hair products from British hair supremo Bumble and bumble on MR PORTER (all of which have different names), we have thrown together the following guide to using the right styling products depending on your hair type and style. Scroll down, and consider yourself part of the hair elite.
For short hair
The English translation:
Neologisms in the cosmetics industry can be a little wearing, but some are entirely appropriate, one of them being this one. “Sumotech”, the reason being that, rather than just another crème, wax or paste, this is a substance that’s somewhere between all three. It has a strong, but flexible hold and a slightly elastic consistency.
What it does:
It holds hair firmly in place with a matt finish and, thanks to its softness, can be remoulded to suit. Massaged with the fingertips into a short, slightly choppy haircut (as espoused by people such as Mr Daniel Craig), it will give you both definition (ie, waves and spikes) as well as a bit of texture.
For coarse or thick hair
The English translation:
This is actually a pomade (ie, an oily, Vaseline-like substance that will provide both hold and shine). It’s also one of the better, more versatile ones out there, thanks to relatively low strength (it won’t fix your hair in place completely) and medium-gloss finish.
What it does:
If you’ve got thick hair, with a tendency towards frizz, applying Semisumo will help to neaten and flatten it. Used in small quantities while the hair is still wet, it dries to provide a natural, healthy-looking shine (as opposed to your more traditional pomades, overuse of which can easily result in a glossy, Mr Frank Sidebottom-esque hair helmet).
For quiffs & sculpted styles
The English translation:
This is an example of a styling crème, a genre of products that are generally used to add a bit of finish and texture to heavily styled or blow-dried hair. The “contour” part refers to the fact that it has a light hold that’s helpful when adding the finishing touches to a sculpted style.
What it does:
In short, it keeps your quiff in shape and looking spiffy. Use it on blow-dried, styled hair to set the shape and give it a satin finish (as opposed to that dry, over-styled effect you can get when setting with a blow dryer).
For natural, messy hair
The English translation:
Yes, it’s another crème. But this one is a little more traditional, predominantly offering texture as opposed to hold. The word “grooming” is slightly misleading – this is more of a product for people who want to tumble out of bed and into work with the minimum of fuss in between.
What it does:
It basically turns you from “must-try-harder” to “artfully dishevelled”. Run a pea-size amount through your hair in the morning to add a bit of shine and texture to hair that would otherwise be, for want of a better phrase, a total mess.
For all-purpose use (and merciful simplicity)
The English translation:
Hurrah, no need to translate: it’s hair gel. You’re familiar with hair gel, right?
What it does:
Actually, it’s a bit better than your average hair gel. Leaving it to set will provide you with the familiar firm, shiny finish you might expect from a hair gel. But if you’re looking for a slightly less sculpted effect, you can comb it through – your hair should largely hold its shape, but with a more natural finish.