The traditional dinner party is dead. Now, if you’re having friends round for supper, hosting Saturday brunch or sharing a Sunday roast, there are new rules by which you must abide. Especially if you want to avoid putting on an evening that resembles an episode of Come Dine With Me.

How do you handle a guest who announces they’ve gone vegan over the pre-dinner negroni? What to serve from the drinks cabinet in an increasingly sober world? We asked some of the hosts with the most for advice: food writer Mr John Gregory-Smith, co-founder of London’s Mexican restaurant Santo Remedio Ms Natalie Diaz-Fuentes, and Ms Marie Mitchell, London-based founder of Caribbean pop-up Pop’s Kitchen and co-founder of Island Social Club. 

So one pal has a mild lactose intolerance and another is avoiding meat? Don’t sweat it. “Create a menu that lets you omit a single thing if you need to,” says Ms Mitchell. “You don’t want to have to cook multiple meals.

“My go-to is a warm salad at all times of the year. For instance, roasted squash with croutons and pine nuts or, one of my favourites, shredded sprouts, lightly fried in butter, with cabbage, orange zest and an orange dressing. If you’re feeling meat, you can add chorizo but it’s delicious without. You could also swap the butter for rapeseed oil.” Vegans covered then.

Mr Gregory-Smith’s approach is to get ahead and prepare a sharing feast that offers something for everyone. “I love filling the table with hot and cold meze such as hummus, moutabel and beetroot salad,” he says. “Everything can be prepared ahead of time so, apart from a bit of grilling and garnishing, you’re done long before your guests arrive.”

And there are easy veggie alternatives to grilled meat: “If I were making lamb kebabs but knew someone was vegetarian, I’d do them a nice cauliflower kebab instead,” he adds.

If you suspect friends are just being fussy, Ms Diaz-Fuentes has a top tip for outing anyone whose dietary “requirement” is just a fad: “Tempt them with what you want to cook. If you’re serving something special like a Mexican delicacy you brought back from a holiday, say that it might contain dairy but you want them to try it.”

No, you do not need that huge floral arrangement, those personalised hand-stitched napkins or the random scattered twigs you saw on Pinterest. Keep things simple. After all, your guests want to see who’s opposite them without getting pussy willow up their nose.

“I’ll set out some nice glasses and pretty crockery, fill a jug with water and lay the table as normal,” says Ms Mitchell. “It doesn’t need to be this super fancy thing, it just needs to be inviting.” If you do add candles, keep it low – think tealights rather than tall, tapered candlesticks.

And remember, the food can do the hard work for you. “If I’m making sharing dishes, I wouldn’t put anything else on the table,” says Mr Gregory-Smith. “Lots of meze looks utterly beautiful.” 

Your guests aren’t going to sit in the back of an unflatteringly lit cab at the end of the night and score your evening based on whether or not the ice cream was homemade. Take shortcuts to make things easier. Local takeaway has a proper tandoor and bakes a great naan? Buy the bread and make the curry from scratch.

“You can always tart things up,” says Mr Gregory-Smith. “Buy some lovely stuffed olives then finish with lemon zest and olive oil. Or sprinkle sumac over shop-bought hummus. Do what works for you. One of the best desserts is just a bowl of peanut M&M’s – they’re like crack candy.”

However, approach shortcuts with care: if you can mash up avocado for your toast, there’s never an excuse for raiding the deli aisle for guac. “A store-bought guacamole bears no resemblance to something that’s freshly made,” says Ms Diaz-Fuentes. “With anything fresh, like salsa, the flavour really comes from doing it in the moment and adding herbs, spices and lime.”

First things first: if someone’s not drinking, it’s rather uncouth to ask why. Secondly, don’t just offer water.

“I'm a huge fan of making a hibiscus and ginger syrup, which you can serve in a variety of ways,” says Ms Mitchell. “Keep it non-alcoholic by serving it with sparkling water, a squeeze of fresh lime and ice. Or make a cocktail with rum and sparkling wine. You can do the same with any kind of syrup you love – ginger, lime and lemon all work well.”

You’re going to need an all-killer, no-filler playlist. No one wants to be hurriedly queuing songs when guests are walking through the door – and Dinner Party Essentials on Spotify isn’t going to cut it.

Mr Gregory-Smith reckons that hosting on a Saturday signals a wild one so pick the music accordingly. “I love house music so anything by Lane 8, Alex Metric or Fred Falke is perfect,” he says. “Toe-tappers, but not too intense.” You can always up the tempo later.

For Ms Mitchell, a chilled Thursday vibe is the way to go: “I like to play Jordan Rakei. His music is so calming, I find it creates a lovely atmosphere. Other big players in our house are Solange, Khruangbin, SZA, Christine and the Queens, Blood Orange, Matthew Halsall and Daniel Caesar… the list could be endless.”

If you don’t want the party to stop, let the good times roll. “If people hang around, it’s a compliment – and you’re not the one with a long journey home, after all,” says Ms Diaz-Fuentes. But if you’re not keen on Sunday lunch turning into supper or if an early-morning meeting looms and there’s still one guy draining your Japanese whisky, the tried and tested methods work.