THE JOURNAL

Illustration by Mr Calum Heath
Is it just us or is the gap between the beginning of the year and the end of it getting shorter? Wasn’t it just Halloween? Is it really time to renew our gym memberships once more? The maths isn’t adding up. Speaking of maths, “boy math” – nonsensical rules that only make sense to men – was one of the things we learnt in 2023. (Example: “boy math is paying $44bn for a $25bn company and turning it into an $8.8bn company”.) So was the frequency at which men think about the Roman Empire (often), and the word “rizz” (short for charisma), which has been chosen as the Oxford University Press word of the year.
This year also had people on the internet imploring others to go outside and “touch grass” to combat the disease of being chronically online, the crypto bubble imploded and we all now know who Mr Sam Bankman-Fried is. But on the bright side, it gave us Barbenheimer and André 3000’s highly unanticipated – and unexpectedly flute-focused – album New Blue Sun.
They say you learn new things every day. That’s 365 new things. Below are just some that caught our attention over the past 12 months.
01. Aliens are real. Maybe
Us humans have always thought that we aren’t alone in the universe, but now we really know. Well, kind of. In June, a former intelligence officer turned whistle-blower claimed that the US government has proof of non-human life and alien vehicles in its possession. At a hearing in Congress, Mr David Grusch said there is classified evidence of “intact and partially intact craft of non-human origin”, prompting a senator to propose legislation that would declassify as many records as possible regarding the government’s experience with foreign objects.
And Grusch may actually know what he’s talking about: the retired Air Force major was on the Pentagon’s task force for investigating UAPs (Unidentified Aerial Phenomena, formerly known as UFOs), and another intelligence official seems to have backed up his claims, saying that “the non-human intelligence phenomenon is real. We are not alone”. Maybe those Chinese spy balloons were not really from China…
02. The AI takeover
First, it was the viral image of a dripped-out Pope in a white Balenciaga puffer jacket. Then ChatGPT threatened to do our jobs better than us. The rising popularity of AI technology is both one of the most interesting and scariest things ever. It even had a role to play in the Hollywood strike that ground the movie industry to a halt for most of the year – writers objected to AI being used to write scripts and actors did not want their likenesses to be captured and used for eternity.
The invasion of our robot overlords has been pending for a while (since The Terminator, really), but 2023 feels like the closest we’ve ever come. From Meta’s celebrity chat bots to the Beatles using AI to help add Mr John Lennon’s vocals to their last song, it seems that sooner or later, the algorithm is going to get you.
03. When Barbie met Oppenheimer
Even AI can’t keep a good woman, or doll, down. Just ask Barbie who, along with Mr Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer, took over the cinemas (and pop culture) this summer. In what would be Hollywood’s last hurrah before the strike, the two movies oddly became companion pieces instead of rivals at the box office, inspiring elaborate costumes, multiple viewings and memes galore.
Oppenheimer’s seriousness was balanced with Barbie’s himbo Ken and both offered a welcome respite to the superhero sequels and reboots that have dominated recently. As far as blockbusters go, both movies combined to make a whopping $2bn at the global box office. Not bad for two films about a bombshell and an atomic bomb, respectively.
04. A nepo baby is born
Just like a real baby, the discourse around the term “nepo baby” was initially conceived in 2022, but really came to life months later, when various fanbases (mostly of the Gen Z variety) began to discover that the objects of their devotion did not come from quite-so-humble beginnings.
We know all about the Ms Gwyneth Paltrows and Mr Jaden Smiths of the world, but did you know some OG nepo babies are going undetected? A thread on Reddit titled “What celebs did you not realise were nepo bébés?” has more than a thousand responses from people discovering that stars such as Sir Daniel Day-Lewis and Ms Angelina Jolie have famous parents or industry connections that gave them a leg up. (One response: “How about we make a post about who ISN’T a nepo baby in Hollywood? That would make it more of a challenge.”)
Who you know has arguably been more important than what you know, but trust the rich and famous to irretrievably prove to the rest of us that meritocracy is just another Hollywood dream.
05. Tailoring lessons from King Felipe of Spain
When the king of Spain attended this year’s Wimbledon men’s final to watch Spanish tennis player Mr Carlos Alcaraz defeat seven-time champion Mr Novak Djokovic, he probably didn’t think he’d end up going viral on the internet. King Felipe gained style-star status when Twitter menswear fashion account @dieworkwear (aka our very own columnist Mr Derek Guy) noted his impeccable tailoring, which particularly stood out on his 6ft 5in frame. “Very rare to see this level of tailoring nowadays, even on the wealthy,” Guy tweeted, before going on to break down why the monarch’s well-proportioned suits and shirt collars were all great sartorial choices. We bet King Charles was happy to see a royal from another family on the trending list.
06. Who won Succession?
When the fourth and final season of Succession began airing in March, all everyone could talk about was how it would end. Who would wind up running the family business once they could wrestle it from the reluctant (and – spoiler alert – cold, dead) hands of patriarch Logan Roy? It turns out that it wasn’t so much who won but who lost and the spectacular fashion in which they lost everything they wanted.
While it was fun to speculate who would land the top job at Waystar RoyCo, the answer was always obvious: none of the Roy kids. From the way their father made them jump through numerous hoops to prove their worthiness to his decision to sell the company to tech bro Lukas Mattson, they just didn’t have what it took to be “serious people”.
07. The year of quiet luxury
We the people have a knack for coming up with new words for things that already exist (see: rizz, menty b and quiet quitting). This year, what was once called “stealth wealth” got renamed “quiet luxury” for no apparent reason except for the benefit of numerous articles and TikTok videos. From Gwyneth Paltrow’s courtroom ensembles by The Row and Loro Piana to Mr Mark Zuckerberg’s favourite Brunello Cucinelli T-shirts, the art of looking discreetly wealthy was the biggest trend the fashion world could not stop talking about – and loudly.