Everyone knows that the extra warmth given by a scarf can be a necessity in deepest December. Frankly, that’s what a scarf is for. Despite that, there are some who choose to eschew those benefits entirely. As well as the foolhardy types that choose to go completely scarfless no matter the weather, there are those who make their decisions based purely on decoration. Think a bandana louchely tied around the neck, or a flimsy voile scarf tossed loosely over their shoulders. Caring about the cold isn’t exactly rock ’n’ roll. Neither is frenzied shivering, but there you go.

It’s been more than 10 years since Mr Lenny Kravitz wrapped himself in the biggest scarf the world had ever seen and hit the streets of New York City. Since then, the legendary scarf has become an international meme (Kravitz himself has complained that he can’t escape it – the meme, not the scarf), which somehow still spawns a variety of imitators every winter. If Kravitz, arguably one of the world’s coolest men for almost half a century, couldn’t wear that scarf without attracting the ruthless mockery of the internet, what chance do you stand? At the same time, though, the big scarf is surprisingly effective to hide behind when you’re doing the hungover coffee run on a cold winter morning.

Once the preserve of hiking trips and long-distance expeditions, the Gorp guy has become inescapable. They’re in your office, on your train, next to you at the bar and showing you the lining of their coat. To the Gorp guy, a scarf isn’t merely a scarf: it’s a piece of high-precision functional equipment, designed to shield the wearer from every possible disaster on the commute to work. The whole thing gives off a vaguely “prepper” vibe, as though their high-tech outerwear has been worn in anticipation of the upcoming apocalypse. Until that hits, they’ll be posting their weekend hiking trips on Instagram and bravely using their taped seams and waterproof membranes to brave the four-minute walk to the corner store.

For all the varying statements you can make with a scarf, this guy chooses not to make one at all. Maybe it was a present from their mum or panicked last-minute purchase when the cold snap finally came. Either way, they’re keeping things simple with their plain scarf – maybe, daringly, they’re going for a tartan number at a push – and who can blame them? At the end of the day, a scarf is just a scarf: it doesn’t need to reveal a hidden depth or say anything about you. When you think about it, isn’t it a bit ridiculous to expect a metre of knitted fabric to perfectly encapsulate your personality anyway?