In today’s chaotic and challenging world, you can always rely on fashion to ask the important questions. For example, where on earth has this “ugly sneaker” trend come from? What is it that has possessed style devotees to obsess over chunky, gawky shoes that look like the shoe-child of brothel creepers, Skechers, and something in the sale at Millets? The jury’s currently out on the exact source of the craze, but hypotheses have been floating around. One guess is that in these digital days of transience, we just want to feel a little more grounded. Another theory is that their aesthetic is borrowed from the kind of shoes you’d find in the lost property box at school. Perhaps the latter is true, and Balenciaga’s creative director Mr Demna Gvasalia spent his summer rifling through forgotten PE cupboards for design inspiration. Whatever the case, it hardly matters, for the trend has laced itself fast and tight onto the foot of the fashion world and, taking into account its soaring popularity (Balenciaga’s Triple S sneakers are currently sold out), it’s going to be around for a while.

On the other foot, let it be known that ugly sneakers are not the only option. While the controversial garishness of multi-coloured and hefty-soled footwear has dominated sneakersphere discourse of late, it’s easy to overlook the abundance of brands that offer the exact opposite. Think clean-cut trainers that eschew any boldness in favour of understated and unadulterated minimalism; sleek leather footwear sharp enough to look good with a suit. Common Projects is the most notable name in this department, but are far from the only players. John Lobb, the distinguished British shoemaker, recently ventured into more casual footwear, and makes leather sneakers that are almost as smart as its Oxfords, and Nike has created their Match tennis shoes with a very quiet swoosh on their side.

For every wince induced by a pair of ugly sneakers, however, a yawn is directed at their plainer counterparts. As the two camps stretch in ever-further directions in design terms, it’s becoming clear that the best sneaker choice lies in extremity. Whether that extremity is “ugly” or “minimal” is up to you. There’s nothing worse than being half-hearted when it comes to your footwear, so scroll on and choose your camp.

Instead of discordant colourways, chunky soles and Frankenstein mashups of leather, mesh and suede, another camp of designers have become masters at creating unfussy sneakers that are neat, clean, and easy to wear. Worn by the kind of man who would look right at home on the more fashionable side of Silicon Valley, these will always look best when they’re kept clean. With an ugly sneaker, you have to pay more attention to the rest of your outfit; but the trump card of the minimal shoe is the sartorial versatility it offers. Minimal sneakers are not about imposing limits, but stretching them; opting for a pair of quieter sneakers needn’t mean they must be plain white.

Common Projects do a great range of pared-back shades, and J.M. Weston has added a dash of colour to its heels. Unlike their ugly rivals, minimal sneakers have the ability to sharpen up a casual look or soften a formal look, and their advocates don’t feel the need to shout for attention with their footwear. Instead, the minimal sneaker exudes a laconic yet self-assured confidence – it’s the sneaker equivalent of mindfulness.

Rather than using “ugly” to describe these sneakers, we might instead have used “distinctive”, or better yet “maximalist”. But that would rather be missing the point. Bulky, textured and spongy, with fat tongues and busy laces, they’re more than a little orthopaedic, but that’s just part of their post-ironic charm. The aforementioned Balenciaga Triple S sneaker is leading the pack, but while we wait for more stock to come in there are plenty of equally chunky alternatives: Prada has created some peppy hiking boots (but please don’t actually hike in them), Vetements has teamed up with Reebok for a positively sci-fi sneaker collection, and the Ozweegos are the product of a collaboration between Raf Simons and Adidas.

For those of us who like a dash of rebellion in our wardrobes, the fact that ugly sneakers polarise opinion is all part of the fun. The ugly sneaker cares not for playing it safe. “Minimal? Pfft, how dull,” it sneers. “If you’re going to spend a fair amount on your footwear, at least make a statement, am I right?” The ugly sneaker’s tone makes it very clear that this is a rhetorical question. Still, incorporating such a statement into an everyday look may require a little more thought than one usually expects with footwear. Worn mostly by devout sneakerheads and the fashion set, pulling these things off requires conviction. In other words, it has to look intentional. Definitely don’t wear them with tailoring, for instance; you’ll just look like a banker who forgot to change out of his comfortable walk-to-work shoes. Pair them with some high-end streetwear, however, and everything suddenly falls into place.