Follow these suggestions to help you make your move seamlessly this party season.

The bacchanal that was December is about to reach its debauched dénouement, and you need another party like you need a hole in the head. Indeed, you may well feel as though you have a hole in your head as you put your best suit on and head out yet again. So why do it? Because the only thing worse than going out on New Year’s Eve is not going out. So stop complaining.

If you’re single, you might even find a kindred spirit in someone who feels as jaded as you do. Who knows? You might even fall in love. It does happen, you know. But as the Mr Harvey Weinstein scandal spills out from Hollywood into everyday life, many men are wondering what the new rules of seduction are. How exactly do you flirt in a way that’s not intrusive, inappropriate or worse?

“The great thing about flirting today is that gender roles are in a state of flux,” says Ms Jean Smith, a former anthropologist and founder of flirtology.com, a consultancy that uses science and psychology to help clients find partners and improve the quality of their social interactions. “And so how we behave is not so defined by our biology, but our personality. Before, women were shy and passive and men had to be confident. But that’s no longer the case.” You mean you don’t even have to approach anyone? How wonderful!

Steady. It’s not that good. You’re still going to have to put in some work, but with the help of Ms Smith’s expert advice, it should be that little bit easier to start talking to someone you like. And to figure out whether they’re interested in you before you do anything rash.

“Don’t just see someone you like and think, OMG, they’re so fit,” says Ms Smith. “To figure out someone’s suitability, you have to talk to them first. So just ask one question. Don’t ask something totally random. The question depends on the context of the situation. It doesn’t have to be the funniest, wittiest opener ever. If you’re at a party, something as simple as “Are you having fun?” will work. This relates to an experience both of you are having, and it shows that you are interested in them. After you’ve talked, you can then decide whether you think they are attractive or not.”

In order to encourage people to feel comfortable approaching you, your body language has to be open and welcoming. So stop looking at your phone. Open your shoulders, have your arms to the side and don’t cover your chest.

Take the time to step back and assess the situation. Ask yourself how you were received? Did the other person take a step back or step forward? Are their arms crossed? That’s always a bad sign. What’s their attitude? Are they smiling? If they don’t look happy to be talking to you, then make your excuses politely and leave. If you’re getting a nice vibe, then carry on asking a few more questions.

Research for the HOT APE system involved more than 250 face-to-face interviews, which Ms Smith conducted in Paris, New York, Stockholm and London. It answers definitively whether someone is flirting with you, and was the basis of her 2015 TED Talk “The Science Of Flirting: Being A HOT APE”. Look for these signs to see if someone is flirting with you.

If they don’t laugh at your jokes, it’s not going to work between you.

To see if someone is flirting, look at the direction their feet are pointing. Pointed towards you is a good sign, pointed away from you means they’re planning their escape. Their shoulders should also be facing you.

As a general rule, the shoulder is a safe place to touch. The further you get down the arm towards the hand, the touch gets more intimate. Another good place to touch is between the shoulder blades as you’re passing by. Touch is the most dangerous of the flirting signals, but it can get you out of the friend zone and show someone that you’re interested. If the person doesn’t respond positively, you can always try someone else.

In anthropology, participant observation means you’re in a situation but not so caught up that you can’t observe what's happening. For example, if you were to touch someone on the arm and say something and you see them blush, it means you’re not so self-conscious that you can’t observe the effect you’re having on them.

If you see someone across the room and all of a sudden they appear by your side, this is not a coincidence. It means they like what they see. During the interaction, when you’re talking to them, if they’re standing closer than usual, that’s also a sign that they’re attracted to you.

Eye contact is the number-one way you can tell if you’re being flirted with, and is one of the main differences between being friendly and being flirty. In flirting eye contact, the gaze is held for longer, the gaze happens more often and it is more intense.