Apparently there’s nothing more attractive than politeness – here’s how to nail it.

A recent feature in The Daily Telegraph mused over Ms Taylor Swift’s penchant for British chaps. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, given that the US songstress’s record of romantic liaisons reads like a Who’s Who of British A-list menfolk, including Messrs Harry Styles, Calvin Harris, Tom Hiddleston and, most recently, Joe Alwyn.

Buy why do American women find men from this damp, drizzly island nation so attractive? Apart from the sultry, clipped tones of the accent, it has something to do with manners, apparently. “[British men] possess an innate charm when seated at a table with a woman that can border on regal,” wrote the article’s author Ms Pandora Sykes. “Americans are obsessed with British etiquette and dedicate TV shows to it. Bill Bryson may have criticised British blokes for their lack of tipping, but at least they know how to put their knife and fork together at the end of the meal and, most importantly, how to signal for more wine without shouting “Garçon!” in an American accent and clicking their fingers.” As much as I’d like to believe this to be true of all my fellow countrymen, the current degree of lamenting in the media about the state of modern manners, particularly from older generations, tells another story. To most mortal folk, it seems that in today’s frenzied, urbanised society, even the most basic rules of etiquette have gone the way of the dodo.

In an attempt to better ourselves or, at the very least, make the world just that little bit more pleasant, we sought the advice of two leading etiquette experts, who explain why we could all do with some more decorum in our lives.

Ms Lucy Hume, associate director of Debrett’s, the guardian of etiquette for polite society since 1769, says we shouldn’t underestimate the value of small talk, both in our professional and private lives. “It can smooth the way when you first meet someone, making it a valuable tool for social interaction,” she says. “If you’re uncomfortable making small talk, simply ask plenty of questions and show an interest in the responses. People will remember you if you pay attention to them.”

Mr James Field, who advises some of the world’s leading luxury businesses on client-facing etiquette, furthers this point. “If people are interested in what we have to say, we like them,” he says. “So being polite, at a drinks reception, for example, is about showing the other person that your attention is on them, and you’re not simply nodding and peering over their head like a meerkat looking out for the next best thing. It’s also worth slowing down. We trust people who are calm and have a steady pace to their persona. While the world might be moving at a thousand miles an hour, make the person you’re talking to feel like you have the time to spend all day with them.”

“Nowadays, people are so qualified through their education that it is often our behaviour that influences how others feel about us and our career progress,” says Mr Field. “We have to identify other ways to differentiate ourselves from our competition.”

“According to research carried out by Harvard University, the Carnegie Foundation and Stanford Research Centre, 85 per cent of job success comes from having well-developed ‘soft’ and people skills, and only 15 per cent from technical skills and knowledge,” says Ms Hume. “The ability to forge and manage relationships, to make a good impression and to demonstrate confidence in a range of situations is extremely valuable in the professional arena.”

The office, with its assault course of stresses, shared space and colleagues with unsanitary habits, can erode our sense of courtesy. But Mr Field advises that it’s in everyone’s interest to keep your cool in the workplace. “The office is an unnatural environment,” he says. “We might be working with people whom we wouldn’t naturally be drawn to in the outside world. We must be even more considerate, if that’s possible, and work hard to get on with others for the sake of the business. Showing respect and interest in colleagues or clients is key to building that professional relationship, so you can draw the best out of each other.”

Office-based communications are also an area where good etiquette (not to mention common sense) comes into play. “The telephone is a great thing,” says Mr Field. “Sometimes we can be in the longest thread of to-and-fro with someone, when 12 emails could be summarised in one call.”

“If you’re using email for work, err on the side of formality and professionalism,” says Ms Hume. “Emails can be stored permanently and quickly disseminated, so think carefully before committing anything to writing. It may be better to have a verbal conversation beforehand, particularly with sensitive subjects.”

It’s no secret that the anxiety of the dating game seems to magnify every insecurity we have. Are my shoes looking polished? Have I overdone it with the aftershave? What if I give them food poisoning? What if I drink too much and end up talking about the time I passed out in a wheelie bin? Observing a few basic rules of conduct might at least help you steer clear of some of the more obvious pitfalls.

“When on a first date, be wary of jumping into a conversation about sensitive subjects such as religion and politics,” says Ms Hume. “It is unwise to make assumptions that everyone may have the same background or views as you. Ask questions, but try not to interrogate or make it seem as if you are trying to get a fix on the person, or pigeonhole them by discovering where they live or what they earn. It’s fine to pay people compliments, but personal remarks are best avoided. Being specific also has more substance. A compliment on a haircut or dress will be much more appreciated than a generic and unimaginative ‘You’re looking well.’”

“This might sound obvious, but the purpose of relationship-building is to forge a rapport and trust in the first instance, and to create a reason for us to spend time with that person again,” says Mr Field. “We need to make others feel comfortable in our company, so if we can show the other party that we are considerate, kind, interested and thoughtful, then that is an attractive proposition. In essence, good manners are demonstrated the moment you ensure you are all of those things.”

While we no longer have to worry about changing into black tie at 6pm on a daily basis, there are still situations where dress codes need to observed, and being on the mark – or completely off it – can influence people’s perception of you. “If we care about what we look like, then people are more likely to trust us, relate to us and buy into us on both a social and professional level,” says Mr Field.

“Dressing appropriately shows respect for an occasion and can be an opportunity to express your personality,” says Ms Hume. “If you’re not sure what dress code applies, the style of invitation and time of day can give clues, or ask your hosts directly. Whatever the occasion, it is always better to be overdressed than underdressed. Style is an attitude rather than a uniform. The best way to be stylish is simply to be comfortable and confident.”

For more information on the services and advice offered by Mr James Field and Debrett’s, visit jamesfield.com and debretts.com