THE JOURNAL
Illustration by Andrey Kasay
It’s a tough time to be single. Apps that once promised limitless choice now feel like digital wastelands full of ghosting, burnout and endless swiping. A recent survey found that 74 per cent of British singles have “given up” or are “taking a break” from dating altogether, while more than 75 per cent of American dating-app users feel burnt out, particularly Millennials and Gen Z. The dopamine rush we get from a match just isn’t hitting the same. And Tinder’s latest innovation, height filters, has left some men feeling like the odds are stacked against them before they’ve even uploaded a profile pic.
If dating in the 2010s was about swipe culture, 2025 feels like its hangover. So, where do we go from here?
NB: This article focuses mainly on heterosexual dynamics, where many of today’s dating tensions between men and women are most visible, though experiences will vary widely across different identities.
01. App fatigue and rejection on repeat
“The dating scene in 2025 feels like it’s reached a boiling point,” says George Rawlings, co-founder of Thursday, a dating company that ditched its app to focus entirely on in-person singles events. “There’s more choice than ever, yet people feel more disconnected.”
A decade of swiping has bred passivity in modern dating. Many single men have grown used to the feel-good hit of a match, without ever building the confidence or skills for real-world connection. What once felt like a playful game now feels like the problem. The thrill is gone.
On some platforms, men are thought to make up as much as 70 to 80 per cent of users, leading to fierce competition and the perception that a handful of “top ranked” profiles soak up most of the attention.
“It creates this desperate scarcity mindset where men feel like they have to compete, rather than connect,” says Tom Stroud, a relationship content creator and host of the podcast Why Do Men…? “That pressure leads to burnout or behaviour that feels inauthentic, sending 30 generic messages instead of one real one. It also means men might internalise rejection as a reflection of their worth, rather than just part of the numbers game.”
As co-founder of the men’s community group, Shoulder to Shoulder, Stroud hears the emotional fallout of the current dating climate first-hand. “A lot of men feel like they’re walking a tightrope – wanting to be emotionally available and progressive, but unsure how to express that in a way that lands,” he says. “There’s a real fear of getting it wrong. And for many guys, they’re pulling away entirely.”
02. The gender disconnect
This drift between men and women isn’t just about dating platforms. Lori Meakin, a gender intelligence expert and the author of No More Menemies, explains how it reflects a broader cultural tension. “Young men and women are drifting apart and seeing the world really differently. The consequences are playing out in politics, work and romantic relationships.”
Stroud agrees: “A lot of men were raised with one script – be the provider, don’t show too much emotion – and now they’re being asked to rip that up and rewrite it. Some more progressive men are thriving with the change; others are panicking or retreating into themselves. And with women rightly expecting more emotional availability, it’s exposing the gaps in how men were socialised.”
Lewis, 29, a marketing professional, reflects on how cultural narratives shaped him growing up. “The ‘treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen’ trope. It’s toxic but still seems prevalent.”
03. The IRL dating renaissance
Thursday’s response to all of this? Go all in on real-world events. “We realised no one wants another dating app,” Rawlings says. “People are starving for real interaction. They’re craving spontaneity. They want serendipity back. Thursday now runs over 500 IRL events a month.”
Offline dating isn’t without its challenges. “Women tend to come for the experience, the fun,” says Rawlings. “Men often come in feeling more pressure: ‘I have to meet someone tonight.’ The guys who do best? They drop the expectations, enjoy the night and treat people like people. Confidence without arrogance. Presence over performance.”
Stroud has noticed a similar appetite for offline connection among his listeners. “A lot of men are joining book clubs, going to sober raves or volunteering – not necessarily to date, but to meet people naturally. They’re tired of dating feeling like another chore on the to-do list.”
Our picks for a date
04. How to be wanted in 2025
This question has been answered, in some corners of the internet, by the manosphere. Its obsession over women’s “666 rule” (six feet, six-pack, six-figure salary) and advice that equates dating with domination is damaging and unfortunately influential.
“Women don’t need a financial provider in the way they once may have, but they do want emotional support, consistency and care,” Meakin says. “Strength still matters – but think of it as being the shoulder someone can cry on. Protection, too, is still needed – not from the world at large, but from those who make it harder and more dangerous for everyone else. It’s not about discarding masculinity, but evolving it into something more contemporary, more generous and, ultimately, more attractive.”
“The guys who are thriving aren’t performing for approval – they’re showing up as themselves,” Stroud says. “Dating with authenticity means dating yourself first.”
05. The bottom line
With cuffing season looming, the future of dating isn’t about more matches. It’s about more meaningful ones. “Stop outsourcing your love life to your phone,” Rawlings says. “Work on becoming the kind of person someone would want to date in real life. Get out of your comfort zone. Go to things. Talk to people. Get rejected. Repeat. You’ll be amazed what happens.”
So, remember what it’s like to flirt face-to-face. The apps may be evolving, the rules may keep shifting – but the spark of human connection? That part is timeless.
