Whatever you think about oysters’ dubiously magical aphrodisiac qualities, which are still unfounded, they definitely qualify for the adult aisle. “Let’s do oysters” is a blunt invitation. Three words used to separate the wheat from chaff. Packed full of zinc and eaten alive, oysters are as delicious as they are decisive – perfect first-date fare.

Rare and exotic beauties tightly clasped between two shells and one hinge. Freshly shucked to reveal their mysterious, naked flesh. A taste sensation akin to diving straight into a wave and blasting your palate with the spindrift and filling your head with a gush of sea spray.

It’s not advisable to make a meal of oysters. A belly full of them is unappealing and potentially disastrous. Go halves on a dozen as an amuse bouche or an afternoon snack. Paired with some delicious grown-up beverages, you’ll soon both start to feel a tingle.

These days, I am at Seabird, up on the 14th floor of The Hoxton hotel in Southwark, where I am proud to oversee the most extensive oyster list in the UK. Below, I’ve shared some of my favourite oysters from these shores and beyond, with something fun to wash them down.

These rich and coppery oysters come from the cold waters of western Scotland. Full of a peaty minerality with a mushroomy finish, they are dank, but in a good way.

What to drink:

Scotch pairs beautifully with this rugged rock oyster. The sweet smoke balances the earthy peat of the Cumbrae. It’s basically a hit of the Highlands. Close your eyes and you can almost feel the mist. If you’re looking for something different, a smoky mezcal works just as well.

These are grown in hanging baskets in the salty mudflats of southern Holland. The constant tidal flow creates a hardworking oyster that is dense and meaty with lusciously nutty, saline flesh.

What to drink:

Sherries come in all different varieties and pair beautifully with shellfish. Manzanilla is my go-to with En Rama oysters. It’s dry as a bone, saline and has a backbone of almonds, which marries brilliantly with this Dutch beauty.

Traditionally finished on trestle tables in the Thames Estuary, these oysters are steeped in history. The Romans craved them and they’re still top-notch today. Fresh and briny with a samphire finish.

What to drink:

Hops are native to the southeast of England and there is nothing better than the simplicity of a cool, refreshing beer with a big tray of Whitstable oysters. The interplay of the hoppy, herbaceous brew and the brininess of the oyster is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Moreish in the extreme.

These are wild oysters from the rugged Atlantic coast of Galway in western Ireland. Energetic ocean storms and unpolluted river waters create an oyster that has complex minerality and succulent butteriness.

What to drink:

Guinness and oysters is kind of a thing, but some oysters are better suited to this pairing than others. Natives from the Kelly Oysters farm in Kilcolgan have the structure to match the big body of an Irish stout. I love the way the bittersweet malt of a stout almost hugs the turgid minerality of a Native oyster. It soothes the tannic, salty beast. This is the yin and yang of food pairings.

These gems from Portugal are plump and fat with a cool cucumber finish. Their Atlantic diet is so rich in algae it can turn their meat turquoise.

What to drink:

Oysters from Portugal and Spain exude rich vegetal flavours of melon and cucumber. Coastal wines such as txakoli have a clean, crisp freshness that works really well with this style of oyster. The spritzy Basque wine cleans the palate and keeps the thirst for more oysters alive.