A series of misadventures has put the staff out of commission. Thank goodness, Mr Christmas is here to offer some expert gift advice.

We’ve never been much good at fairy tales but we’ve always liked the ones where some overworked artisan falls asleep at his bench yet awakens to find that some magical creature has done his work for him.

Here, that elfin fellow is Mr Christmas, and he’s being working overtime lately. He went on active duty a few days ago when our Editor-in-Chief Mr John Brodie broke out in a debilitating rash after a non-Charvet tie brushed his neck.

Then an amicable game of Scrabble between Editors Ms Jodie Harrison and Mr Dan Rookwood escalated into a bitter feud, and letter tiles were being hurled across the office (apparently “xi” is in the dictionary, Ms Harrison). Another casualty of the festive fun – our Senior Features Writer Mr Chis Elvidge – has refused to write another word until someone gets the name of the obscure Belgian play he acted out in an animated game of charades. And, like the protagonist in some Mr CS Lewis novel, our Style Director Mr Dan May stepped into a double-sided cashmere coat and vanished to some mystical far away land where we assume he is feasting on Turkish delight. To escape all the excitement, Buying Director Mr Toby Bateman retired quietly to the pub. That was two days ago, and he hasn’t been seen since.

With no one at MR PORTER HQ able to give any style or gift advice – we’ve had to enlist some extra help, and who better than our festive mascot Mr Christmas. With all the generosity of Santa (and spades more style nous) – it might be a blessing in disguise that our usual experts are out of action. Need to know what to buy the guy who has everything? Looking for a gift to give a hipster brother? Simply want to spoil yourself? Mr Christmas has some perfect suggestions. Check out his seasonal recommendations below, shop the items you like – and make sure you go easy on the buck’s fizz.

For a chance to win Mr Christmas’ Wish List – worth £5,000/ $7,500 – click here

“A tricky breed of man to buy for because his tastes are both exact, and extremely niche, he probably gets his suits made by an old Japanese lady in Tokyo, and won’t be seen dead in 90% of brands on the market. Go achingly simple (and Scandinavian) with a pair of slim black jeans from Acne Studios. You can’t go wrong.”

“This handsome radio appeals to both the hipster’s love of all things retro and his obsession with the latest technological wizardry. Perfect for playing whichever obscure genre of music is currently capturing his ‘aesthetic’.”

“There’s a good chance our moustachioed friend isn’t yet familiar with this brand – yet he’ll be well-accustomed with the cool icons that adorn Sonic Editions’ prints. From Mses Sophia Loren to Brigitte Bardot: the images are made on limited runs, so he’s getting a collector’s item.”

“No Givenchy print tees or quirky Japanese denim here: think classic clothing for the traditionalist. Let’s hazard a guess he’s a fan of chinos (and perhaps he hasn’t replaced the ones he wore at college). Go for a brand that he can trust: Incotex is one of the best in the business.”

“There’s a good chance he might generally opt for an evening in with a glass of Burgundy over a night out on the town – and if you can make his nights by the fire more comfortable over Christmas, then he’ll thank you. A Tom Dixon candle to ramp up the relaxation ought to do the trick.”

“This stag antler and leather shoehorn from Abbeyhorn – an artisan brand established in 1749 – is the perfect addition to any traditional man’s wardrobe, and the perfect companion for preserving his leather shoes.”

“Everyone dreads trying to surprise the guy who has everything – however, a watch case such as this by Smythson, has undoubtedly escaped his discerning eye. Not only will it ensure his wristwear is wound and ready to go at any time, it’s also a thing of great beauty to discover under the tree.”

“However well he invested in the autumn/ winter collections, one would guess that this coat from Berluti is missing from his repertoire. There’s something rather failsafe about buying someone an extremely luxurious investment piece for Christmas – and investments don’t come much more impressive, nor timely, than this.”

“Eliminate the risk that he already owns something you’ve bought him (or worse: is wholly unimpressed), by going for a generously credited MR PORTER gift card. Not only is he free to buy what he wants – you can save your favourite Rudolph wrapping paper.”

“From time trials to calorie counts – the world of fitness can be a competitive and exacting one. This activity tracking band measures the all-important figures exercise addicts rely on, whether they’re active or at rest, and analyses it via their smartphone.”

“If he’s a fan of bikes then he’ll know about Brooks England. Revered for its fine leather and traditional English craftsmanship, the brand makes saddles that mould to the rider’s shape. Perfect for inner-city cycling trips.”

“The brand named after the track where the four-minute mile was broken at Oxford University, Iffley Road produces classic British running gear. Key pieces such as these running shorts are crafted from incredibly lightweight Italian material and will be a welcome update to whatever is currently festering in his gym bag.”

“One of the most popular items on the MR PORTER site, and for good reason – this is the latest iteration of the Lanvin sneaker. With sleek suede and patent leather, he can dress these up or down as he pleases during party season.”

“Saint Laurent’s rock’n’roll vibe continues to proliferate under the control of Mr Hedi Slimane. This piece combines the classic cool of the varsity jacket with a grungy aesthetic the brand is loved for.”

“Dark, oversize with baseball-influenced details – this T-shirt couldn’t tick more ‘urban hipster’ boxes if it tried. He can’t have it all his own way, though – the red stars are a welcome break from the block of black.”