She argues that the reason your dad is tight-lipped when it comes to gifting hints is the same reason he won’t show vulnerability or ask for directions – “because such behaviours are inconsistent with masculinity”, or at least a particular version of it.

“To shop for someone effectively, you have to have a level of intimacy that men are socialised to avoid,” Forbes-Bell says. “Which means, beyond simply asking them what they want, you need to ask more probing questions to allow you to produce a clearer picture of who they are in order to purchase a gift they’ll love.”

“The recurring dilemma is always the same: what do you give the man who has everything?” says Rachel O-Williams, who, as part of MR PORTER’s crack team of Personal Shoppers (we don’t use the term “elves” here), is well versed when it comes to this situation. “My answer, unfailingly, is thoughtfulness. The trick is to lean into what you already know about him. Don’t overcomplicate it. Often the best gifts are the ones that quietly acknowledge his quirks or daily rituals. The gift is an expression of how well you know the person, use that. Thoughtfulness always outshines extravagance.”

Forbes-Bell, too, offers pollster-backed ideas for your father. She points to a recent YouGov survey, which “suggests that men prioritise comfort and timeless styles over trendy items”. She also quotes from Principles Of Social Psychology (2022) by Dr Rajiv Jhangiani and Dr Hammond Tarry: “Men are, on average, more concerned about appearing to have high status and may be able to demonstrate this status by acting independently from the opinions of others.” (Check out MR PORTER’s exclusives here.)

“The safest and most sophisticated approach is to go neutral, both aesthetically and practically,” O-Williams says. Rather than taking a punt on something entirely new, she suggests improving on something you know he likes or has a use for. “Yes, he might already own a corkscrew, but does he have one crafted from stainless steel and Makassar ebony? Unlikely – and that’s the charm. Even clothing, which many people are terrified of gifting, is often the easiest route when you keep to classic cuts and understated colours such as beige, black, grey and navy. A beautifully made cashmere jumper or a sharp wool overshirt is almost universally appreciated. When the person gives you nothing to go on, choose pieces that speak for themselves.”

But the ultimate gift you can give your dad? Getting him out of his funk. “A 2013 study found that ‘men who maintain social groups are healthier, recuperate from sickness more quickly and tend to be kinder’,” Forbes-Bell reports. So, whether it’s a gift that shows you totally get him or something that brings you closer together, chipping away at that masculine shell of his might be the real prize here – for everyone.

Rizwan came to a similar conclusion with his dad. “I’ve figured out he’s actually secretly very sentimental,” he told us. So, when his dad graduated from university a few years ago, Rizwan saw an opportunity and dropped a line to a photographer friend. “I got him, printed, one of the photos. And the photo is of me fixing his gown. It’s like I’m his parent.”

The photograph ended up on his dad’s wall. Meanwhile, his dad’s own emotional wall is finally showing some cracks. “Maybe that’s the thing I did that I was most proud of this year,” Rizwan says. “I made my dad cry. How many of you can say that?”