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Why Wellness Isn’t The Answer To Everything

As I walked through Hyde Park on a golden London evening last summer, I couldn’t remember ever feeling as good. Rather than enduring rush hour with my face pressed into the armpit of a stranger on the Central Line, I was 20 minutes into a six-mile hike home, listening to my favourite Spotify playlist, enjoying the sun on my face and the endorphins coursing round my body. I had recently given up smoking after 35 years, while the mosaic of wellness and fitness apps on my phone, one of which was tracking my walk, were symbols of a renewed determination to fashion a better version of myself. Completing my calorie-burning target of 12,500 daily steps recommended by BetterMe: Walking & Weightloss was only one part of my new app-based regime. The day now began with a tap of the Sleep Cycle icon to check how well I had slept. The soothing voice of Yoga Studio’s female instructor then talked me through low-intensity back-strengthening stretches, which then set me up for a 10-minute mediation session on Calm. At work, my phone bleeped, chirped and gurgled with notifications reminding me to drink more water, eat more healthily and project positivity. The messaging quickly became an onslaught, but the advice was sinking in, even if my weekly screen time was spiralling. I had needed to hit the reset button. The combination of being trapped in a job that was wearing me down, the frenzy of home life with three small children and my residual angst about career, money and the future had left me feeling frayed and increasingly frustrated. The looming spectre of my 50th birthday didn’t help either, mocking me with every glance in the mirror, every twinge in my back and every flare of my bald patch on the CCTV screens of London buses.

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