Dating today is not for the fainthearted. While we have more choice than ever, more ways to meet, more advice at our fingertips, for many of us it feels harder, more performative and, at times, strangely joyless. Globally, the number of single people is on the rise. Rates of marriage and cohabitation are declining, and in the US and UK young people are having less sex.
The habits of modern life – instant gratification, endless choice, the ability to disengage the moment you hit a challenge – mean that overthinking and emotional detachment have become the norm. The tools we use reinforce this. Algorithms reward attention, not depth. AI smooths things over, sycophantically agreeing with us, removing friction.
Real connection is the opposite. It’s slower, messier and far less predictable. Which might just be what we need right now. And there are ways of making it better. To find out how, read on.