THE JOURNAL
Jon Hamm in Mad Men (2015)
You’re out of office. In theory. Poolside in Puglia, an ice-cold beer glistening beside you. The sun is warm on your shoulders, the smell of SPF and sweat a constant reminder your summer vacation is officially here. And yet… your thumb is compulsively refreshing your inbox. Relaxing, it turns out, isn’t quite as effortless as we think.
Modern rest isn’t passive – it’s a skill, and one most of us haven’t mastered. As the psychologist and fatigue specialist Professor Vincent Deary recently put it: “Work needs rest, and rest takes work. We need to allow ourselves to rest, to nap, to enjoy… and deliberately switch on to joy and nourishment.” And yet, for many, switching off feels unnatural. A disorienting void where productivity used to live.
It’s not our fault. Between intense hustle culture, post-pandemic anxiety and the dopamine loops of our phones, even downtime is starting to look suspiciously like work. We plan holidays like military operations. We track our sleep like we’re training for the Olympics. We charge off on wellness weekends and return with emptier wallets and fuller inboxes.
“I often see that rest doesn’t feel safe for many men,” says Dr Sophie Mort, a psychologist, bestselling author of (Un)Stuck and mental health expert at Headspace. “It feels like weakness, or worse, failure. In therapy, men will often say, ‘I don’t know how to switch off,’ but what they often mean is, ‘I don’t know who I am without being productive.’”
This is because, culturally, many men are still wired to value output, control and stoicism. So, when the laptop finally closes, what rises to the surface? Guilt, restlessness and even shame. It’s not a lack of willpower, it’s a nervous system primed to treat stillness as a threat. And with work now living in our pockets, every “ping” feels like a test of relevance.
01. What rest looks like in 2025
The first thing to understand is that lying horizontal, ordering a takeaway and bingeing eight episodes of whatever the Netflix algorithm has served you is not the same as rest. Rest in 2025 is about micro and macro. Micro-rest is weaving restorative practices into your day: five minutes of breathwork between meetings, switching to an analogue watch so you’re not tethered to your phone via your wrist, choosing comfortable clothes that signal “I’m off duty” to both you and the world.
Macro-rest is slower holidays – travelling for nourishment, not content. Not tying yourself to an itinerary. As Professor Cal Newport, the productivity guru behind Deep Work, explains, “Providing your conscious brain time to rest enables your unconscious mind to take a shift sorting through your most complex professional challenges.” He suggests that deliberately carving out proper downtime is a productivity tool in itself because it engages a background processing mode that’s inaccessible when you’re constantly distracted, busy or hustling.
Giving your conscious mind a break doesn’t mean you’re “doing nothing”. In fact, it’s during those restful, undistracted periods that your brain can quietly solve problems or spark creative thoughts.
02. Actually switching off
So, how do you do it? And without decamping to an ashram for a silent retreat (that you’ll live-tweet from on day two)? Start small. Build a shutdown ritual at the end of your workday – one that physically separates you from your devices and signals to your brain: this is rest. Try:
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Weighted blankets: not just for anxious dogs. A surprising number of high-functioning men swear by them for better sleep.
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Noise-cancelling headphones: essential for drowning out urban living noise and the chatter in your head.
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Breathwork apps: just five minutes of guided breathing can potentially lower your cortisol. (If meditation feels too much like homework, this is a softer entry point.) “Breathwork, meditation and yoga are incredibly effective for shifting the body into a parasympathetic state,” says Will Agbo, a personal trainer and performance coach. “So many men spend their days in fight-or-flight mode without realising it. That constant stress can quietly erode both your mindset and creativity.”
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Luxe loungewear: yes, it matters. The simple act of changing out of your work clothes helps mark the mental shift to rest. MR PORTER’s edit of linen shirts and drawstring trousers isn’t just sartorial – it’s psychological.
Agbo also highlights the role of movement as an antidote to mental noise. “Strength training and cardio are a form of healthy stress – eustress – that allow the body to adapt positively,” he says. “The focus required during exercise can be one of the best ways to quiet a busy mind.”
And crucially, recovery isn’t optional if you want to perform at your best. “Rest isn’t indulgent; it’s the thing that allows you to perform optimally,” Agbo says. “If you want to achieve highly, prioritise your health – you’ll get more done than you would otherwise.”
03. Rest as the ultimate luxury
Because here’s the thing: you can buy the flights, the hotel, the wellness retreat. But real rest? That’s rarer. It requires boundaries. Discipline. A willingness to do less. So, this summer, practice the art of doing nothing – and doing it well. You might even surprise yourself by enjoying it.
The people featured in this story are not associated with and do not endorse MR PORTER or the products shown