If you’re like me, you’re stuck at home finding new ways to fill your time. And whether you’re channelling Mary Poppins or Mr Mark Zuckerberg, it’s clear that the gamification of thankless tasks gets results (see clean rooms and possibly swung elections). With that in mind, this week’s Staff Picks is brought to you with a challenge: can I create a seamless outfit using only new items that have all been given human names? With the need to differentiate their output, many brands turn to such monikers to designate their products: trousers called Keith; shoes called Larry; glasses called Fritz and so forth. But which brand-new pieces should you be on first-name terms with? See my selection below.

A wardrobe staple in a powdery blue, A.P.C.’s Felix tee is a dependable choice and makes for a solid base to any outfit. He might not like me saying this, but Felix is soft and huggable (social distancing permitting), although he doesn’t like to draw attention to himself – the label’s initials, subtly stitched near the hem, offers the only clue to the designer behind this piece.

Still in the As, Acne Studios’ vibrant twill shirt called Simon will inject a bit of personality into any ensemble. A keen botanist, Simon is a lively sort. He’s no wallflower, more the life and soul of the party. Ideal for spring, Simon is both as fresh as a daisy and a little bit minty, too.

There’s a lot of choice in the sweater department. I almost went with Lance by rag & bone, a lovely lavender fine-gauge knit, but opted instead for Miley, a fleece-back jersey sweatshirt by Isabel Marant in a pastel dégradé rainbow hue. Miley is washed out, but still full of smiles, and beautiful like a sunset. It’s the ideal tentative first step into the tie-dye trend.

Rather than a pair of AG Jeans called Dylan, I have decided to take a smarter tack and introduce myself to Officine Generale’s unstructured double-breasted suit jacket, Leon. He’s guaranteed to help you swerve social embarrassment, even if he comes in a very noticeable shade of blush. In fact, when teamed with Simon you have a duo worthy of Miami Vice.

It was all going so well, and then… in the words of Ghostbusters’ Raymond Stantz – namesake of another tee by A.P.C., this time in lilac – “I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there”. While Ray’s distraction almost destroyed Manhattan, mine has only ruined this list. Still, BE@RBRICK’s 72cm reinterpretation of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, the 1984 movie’s end-of-level baddie, is a worthy adversary. This is one collectable toy that you probably shouldn’t actually play with (but you inevitably will).