THE JOURNAL

Tokyo, 1967. Photograph by Keystone/Getty Images
The MR PORTER guide to making January a bit less painful.
Couch-ridden, swaddled in cashmere, half-cut on Baileys and six hours into a marathon Netflix binge, we fool ourselves into thinking that the festive season might go on forever. The future stretches out before us, free of responsibility, uninterrupted by the tedium of work: the kind of utopian society first envisaged by glam rock pioneers Wizzard in their 1973 hit single, “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday”. If only that were true.
According to Christian tradition, the festival of Christmastide comes to an end this Thursday, 5 January. This date, otherwise known as “Twelfth Night”, marks the conclusion of the 12 Days of Christmas, a period during which lovers were traditionally expected to exchange fanciful and increasingly impractical gifts in accordance with the song of the same name.
Such customs have thankfully been consigned to the dustbin of history. Twelfth Night is still remembered as the day by which you’re supposed to have taken down your Christmas tree, but there are now more practical ways of determining when the festive season is actually over. Such as: are you back at your desk yet?
For some of us, the answer to that question is already yes. For others, the moment is fast approaching. The transition from full-time sybarite to fully functioning member of society is never easy. The question is: how will you handle it? The following tips on how to get back into work mode might help.

MANAGE YOUR WATER-COOLER STRATEGY
Nobody will be in the mood for idle conversation this soon after the festive season, so any chance encounters at the coffee machine/water-cooler/photocopier (delete as appropriate) will have to be handled deftly. Banal questions such as “Did you have a nice Christmas?” or “Have you made any New Year’s resolutions?” are likely to be met with the monosyllabic replies that they deserve. Avoid them. Likewise, if such questions are directed at you, remind yourself that they were probably only asked to fill an uncomfortable silence. Your colleague doesn’t actually want to hear about how much of a resounding success your goose-fat roast potatoes were, so smile, offer a perfunctory response and quickly move on to more interesting topics (or, failing that, more interesting people).

EMBRACE THE THRILL OF THE NEW
To achieve personal growth – or just to stave off boredom – it is sometimes necessary to step outside of your comfort zone. Make it your resolution this year to do one thing every day that scares you. Perhaps you’re terrified of enclosed spaces, and have never been able to take the lift. Perhaps there’s a menu item at the canteen that you’ve eyed with suspicion over the last 12 months, but never summoned up the courage to actually try. Make 2017 the year you say “yes”.

SWEAT IT OUT
Whether you buy into the “new year, new you” doctrine cranked out by the health industry’s propaganda machine or not, there are undoubted benefits to fitting a workout into your working day – not least that fact that the endorphin rush triggered by a session of hard exercise has the potential to keep you happily doped up for hours afterwards. Spend your lunch hour at the gym and the afternoon is guaranteed to fly by in a happy haze.
