Self-belief is like a shadow in the midday sun. Just as we think we’ve caught it, it can recede surprisingly quickly. Our self-confidence is having to deflect blows on an hourly basis. “With social media, for example, it’s impossible to escape negative comparisons,” says Dr Gary Wood, author of Confidence Karma: How To Become Confident And Help Others Feel Great Too. “It’s an orgy of not keeping up with the Joneses, but of wilfully crushing the Joneses underfoot at every given opportunity.”

Below is a road map to improve your self-confidence, designed by the coaches, trainers and psychologists who boost self-esteem for a living.

“We boost our own confidence as we build confidence in others,” Wood says. “Giving others an uplift with a compliment will give you and them a physiological and psychological boost, and they will perceive you as more confident and treat you as such, so you get a further boost. It becomes a positive-feedback loop.”

“Practise a power pose, with arms raised, chin up and chest out,” says David Waters, a therapist and coach. “Emulating the posture of winners triggers a positive hormonal shift, reduces anxiety-producing cortisol and boosts confidence-enhancing testosterone.

“Lengthening your out breath relative to your in breath counteracts the fight-or-flight response. This promotes calmness, quickly soothes racing thoughts and instils confidence.”

“One of the challenges that a lot of people face is that they intertwine their identity with their work,” says Simon Sinek, author of Find Your Why. People often introduce themselves by their job title and because they attach such status to it, when they lose that job or retire or change career, it can send confidence crashing. “I define myself by who I am – an optimist – not by what I do,” Sinek says.

Exercise can be a huge boost to your self-confidence. The American Psychological Association has noted through studies that working out regularly requires a commitment and maintaining that commitment is an accomplishment. “Sticking to a new habit will make you feel more confident, which increases as you spot physical improvements,” says Joe Warner, editor-in-chief at Unfiltered Online.

“Nothing boosts self-confidence quite like wearing clothes that flatter and fit you perfectly,” says Nick Hems, a men’s personal stylist. What you wear can prompt you to think or behave differently, concurs Hattie MacAndrews, a confidence and mindset coach. “To boost confidence, dress as a more self-assured version of yourself, embodying that persona.”

“Treat yourself to new training threads,” Warner says. “What you wear impacts your mentality – scientists call it enclothed cognition – and when you wear fitted, fashionable and comfortable workout clothes, you’ll instantly feel more confident and ready to perform.”

“We often get the idea that confidence is about holding court, whereas it’s more to do with putting people at ease,” Wood says. “It helps to focus on connecting with people rather than focusing on the performance.” During an interview, for example, you should direct your energy towards establishing a connection with your interviewer instead of merely aiming to impress them.

“Maintaining a fluid conversation, confidently, is all about asking open-ended questions that encourage more than a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response,” Wood says.“Queries that start with who, what, where or how can lead to more interesting discussions and show that you’re genuinely interested in the other person’s thoughts and feelings. This can significantly enhance your confidence and ease in small-talk situations.”

“Curb negative internal dialogues using a powerful trigger word, such as ‘stop’ or ‘enough’,” Waters says. This cognitive behavioural therapy tip can immediately interrupt self-defeating thoughts and refocus the mind. “Saying these words out loud intensifies the effect, opens up new, more optimistic thought patterns and consequently enhances confidence.”

Try not to dwell on mistakes and “instead, learn to accept feelings of guilt, regret and disappointment and stop using rumination as an escape,” says Dr Nick Wignall, a clinical psychologist. “By building a healthier relationship with these difficult emotions, you can stop them from undermining your self-confidence.”

“Many of us ignore our deep desires due to various negative experiences, which leads to low self-confidence,” Wignall says. “Retrain your brain to value your desires by expressing yourself and pursuing your wants, however uncomfortable it may feel.”

Make sure to celebrate the small wins, too. “Building unshakable self-confidence comes not from external validation but from celebrating those small, daily wins that no one else sees,” Warner says. “Absolutely set a long-term goal, but break it down into smaller monthly, weekly and even daily targets so that winning each day, and believing in yourself, becomes second nature.”

“When you experience a setback, take a moment to review and reframe,” says Major Sam McGrath, a neuro-linguistic programming coach and author of Be Para Fit. “This helps shift focus on results to a more positive perspective. For instance, if on your first attempt in an assessment you score two out of 10, the reframe encourages focus on the two correct answers and how to build on this success, not the eight incorrect ones.”

“Sports psychologists use visualisation as a highly effective tool for building confidence among athletes suffering a drop in form,” Warner says. “Rehearsing your golf swing or imagining yourself giving that best man’s speech can activate the same neural circuitry in the brain as doing it in reality. Whatever you’re not confident about doing, practise it a few times beforehand.”

Impostor syndrome can make you discount your achievements and breed fear of being exposed as a fraud. “This insecurity stems from our tendency to recall failures more than successes,” says Linda Gillham, a counsellor and director of healthy minds at Peppy Health. Regularly jotting down your accomplishments helps boost confidence by reinforcing a positive memory of your capabilities.

“Start using affirmations daily,” Gillham says. “For example, ‘I’ve got this,’ or ‘I feel confident.’ Even if at first you don’t believe them, research has shown the benefits of daily affirmations.”

“Having positive influences around you, such as people who encourage and support you, can help you feel more confident,” says Robert Kubaiko, a life coach. Spend time with people who inspire and encourage you, such as friends, family and mentors.

“Pretty much everyone experiences a confidence-crushing moment at one time or another,” Waters says. “But once you have these tools and you make them a habit, then stressful moments are no longer a problem. The body’s chemistry starts to change to our advantage. Cortisol, the anxiety-inducing hormone, ebbs away and we get confidence-boosting hits of testosterone, which helps us feel more capable and in control.”