MR PORTER shows you how to cut a dash this festive season.

At what point along the evolutionary chain did we decide that, rather than spending the winter months hibernating in a cave like bears, we would instead do lots of face-to-face business at an endless stream of rictus-grin-filled festive “dos”? Whenever and why-ever it happened, we certainly haven’t made it easy for ourselves. “Elegant” and “cosy” are not, generally speaking, concepts that mix well. Neither are “drunk” and “charming”. Still, every year we do it again and again, for some reason or other – so what can we at MR PORTER do but offer up a few words of advice on this most wonderful, and most luridly unstylish, time of the year? Here goes nothing.

First things first. The holidays bring with them a lot of questionable dress codes. “Suits and sparkles.” “Festive cocktail.” “Naughty and nice.” Ignore them. In our opinion, what people generally mean by all these silly things is that you should make a bit of an effort. So we would suggest two routes to pursue for seasonal eveningwear: for more casual events, even if you’re not the dressy type, at least consider putting on a blazer. It doesn’t have to be all that scary – you could wear it over a turtleneck or knitted polo shirt if you don’t want to look too much like a suit. For the more formal events and flamboyant dressers, the holiday season simply functions as a bit of an excuse to don something a bit more fun than a regular tuxedo. Whatever you go for, think carefully about colour. The temptation is to go for reds and greens, or gold and silver, which can all get a bit gaudy. But you’ll be far more of an appealing ornament in deep, warm shades. Think burgundy, teal, navy, brown and black. And, OK, a little flash of something festive is fine, but try to contain it: we suggest red socks or a pocket square.

Yes we’re talking about holiday sweaters. No, it doesn’t have to have reindeer on it, or Santa Claus, or the primary protagonists of Frozen. It doesn’t even to have snowflakes or patterns, although we’re more amenable to those. In short – and most importantly – it doesn’t have to be awful. Yes, that’s right: you can ring in this spirit of merriness wearing a sweater that you would also be willing to wear during other months of the year. We suggest classic cable-knit varieties from the likes of Connolly or Inis Meáin, perhaps a colourful cashmere number from Massimo Alba or a striped mohair-blend variety (for extra shagginess) from Mr P.. These brightly coloured numbers will not only keep you warm, but also cheer everyone else up without hauling them in to some ironic Christmassy in-joke that they never asked to be a part of. If you simply must have some sort of pattern going on, we would steer you towards something that takes its cues from tradition – in fact, there is a voluminous selection of Fair Isle-inspired sweaters on sale over this holiday, from the utterly authentic and very Scottish (see William Lockie and Howlin’) to the bleedingly cool and deconstructed (see Junya Watanabe or Sacai). And of course, it goes without saying that every single piece of statement knitwear is best complemented by a coat in a plainer colour or more subtle texture.

That heart-piercing feeling of warmth and happiness will, after a couple of weeks, begin to take its toll. Which means that by December 25, you are almost guaranteed to be completely out of jingle juice and should be planning for some quality sofa time. In fact, you should make the most of it – there are no other moments in the year when everything is shut, the house is full of food and everyone is entitled to 48 hours of boredom and nothing to do before gearing up for the year’s (mercifully) final party. People talk about luxury – but what’s more luxurious than the space and time to catch up on Maniac (excellent, by the way) or to play Mario Kart? (Note: if it’s your nephew’s Nintendo Switch, no one will judge you. Sort of.) That being said, there is relaxing and there is vegetating – the two differ wildly in terms of style and personal hygiene. In case it’s not clear, we prefer the former posture (sitting upright; one or two muscles engaged) and would suggest an accompanying uniform from the range of loungewear we currently offer on MR PORTER. Try a pair of cotton and cashmere sweatpants from Zimmerli (you won’t go back), or an ultra-soft pyjama set from British underwear upstart Hamilton & Hare. New York brand Sleepy Jones takes pride in the fact that its pyjama shirts can also pass for daywear, which is a very good defence to raise when people start telling you to stop moping around eating chocolate coins and get dressed.

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