THE JOURNAL

Illustration by Mr Calum Heath
Ah, summer. Season of shorts, shades and sandals. The sun is out, but unfortunately, so are feet. We say unfortunately because, after overwintering in boots and sneakers, most men’s feet now look gnarled, battered and more cave troll than respectable human. There’s only once place you want to see embarrassing foot faults this summer – and that’s at Wimbledon. So, before you slip into those Birkies, slides or flip-flops, take these basic steps to ensure your plates always look on point.
01.
Call in the professionals
Most of us wouldn’t think twice about seeing a dentist for a check-up, yet we’re strangers to podiatrist’s treatment room. A podiatrist – someone who looks after feet for a living – should be an integral member of any man’s pit crew. As well as giving feet a health check, they can tackle all the things that scupper the look of your sandals, from corns and calluses to thickened, discoloured or ingrown nails and unsightly fungal infections.
If your feet are in pretty decent shape but just need a cosmetic overhaul, then think about having a pedicure. Along a manicure, it’s probably the most useful and least scary beauty treatment available for men.
“The important thing is not to think of your feet as separate identities, but more as an extension of your body,” says podiatrist Ms Dina Gohil, who believes we all need to re-examine our relationship with our feet. “Instead of neglecting them, give them the attention they deserve with a regular footcare regimen.”
02.
Avoid looking down at heel
Nothing says bad grooming quite like a Hobbit heel. Oh, nobody’s looking at the back of my feet, you might think, but in the same way neck hair can ruin a decent haircut, a crusty heel can detract from your sandals. The solution is simple. Exfoliate the skin on your feet in the same way would the stuff on your face.
To make sloughing off dead skin easier, nail guru Mr Leighton Denny recommends soaking your feet in a large bowl of warm water for 10 minutes before applying an exfoliating scrub. “If you don’t have a foot or body scrub, you can create your own by mixing olive oil with either salt or sugar,” he says. At a push, a stiff nail brush and a gentle body wash will do the trick, too.
“The important thing is not to think of your feet as separate identities, but more as an extension of your body”
Alternatively, invest in a battery-operated rough-skin remover. A bit like an electric sander for your feet, it buffs away dead skin using a mineral roller and will give you smooth feet in seconds.
Follow up with a moisturising foot cream to keep skin soft and supple and to prevent cracks. “For best results, gently massage into the skin and repeat just before you go to bed to repair your feet overnight,” says Gohil. For more intense hydration, apply thickly and pop on some trainer socks before going to bed to help the product absorb more effectively.
03.
Be a smooth operator
We’re all for body positivity here at MR PORTER, but for many people hairy toes are scary toes. And while a little fluff is a good sign (it shows circulation to your extremities is good), it does rather detract from a pair of Off-White slides.
Taking a razor to your toes might seem like the simplest option, but according to professional manscaper Mr Andy Rouillard of Axiom Bodyworks, it’s definitely not the best. “Shaving cuts the hair at skin level and means you’ll be picking sand out of toe stubble within a couple of days,” he says. “By far the better option is waxing. It removes every hair by the root, which results in impeccably smooth skin. As a bonus, the new hair that grows back will be softer and sparser.”
A professional wax takes less than five minutes, often costs less than a tenner and should keep you hair free for three weeks or so – about as long as the British summer.
04.
Totally nail it
If the eyes are the window to the soul, toenails are the front door to your feet. They’re what people notice first if you’re wearing sandals and you will be judged on them, so make sure they’re always neat and tidy.
To begin with, always use clippers or scissors designed for toes (fingernail ones are not wide enough to cut across the whole nail in one or two goes and you don’t want to transfer bacteria between feet and hands) and cut the nails straight across so they’re level at both ends. Trimming down the sides can encourage ingrown toenails.
“Long-term use of flip-flops is never a great idea because they provide no support for the feet”
“You can take off any rough edges with a nail file, but always do this while feet and nails are completely dry because wet nails are more vulnerable to damage and the water helps to separate the layers of the nail plate and can cause peeling,” says Denny, who also suggests pushing back cuticles with a cuticle tool as a finishing touch. “Toenails will never look good if the cuticles are in poor condition, so apply a cuticle oil, massage in and use a rubber-ended hoof stick to gently push back cuticles in tiny circular movements to keep them looking well groomed.”
05.
Think about a paint job
With men such as Messrs Chris Hemsworth and Cristiano Ronaldo having sported painted toenails, the finishing touch to your sandal-ready trotters may well be a lick of paint. “Painted toenails are a fun, easy way to show your creativity and experiment with something new, so it’s no surprise more men than ever are getting in on the act,” says Denny. He suggests opting for a darker shade such as black if you’re a nail polish newbie, or trying a reddish-black such as his own Vamp polish if you fancy a dark shade with a twist. “Alternatively, try an easy-to-wear, ‘nude’ polish, which is understated and creates a man-friendly your-nails-but-better effect,” he says.
For a perfect paint job, Denny suggests rolling the nail polish bottle between your hands to mix it (shaking can create air bubbles that ruin a perfectly good paint job) and applying two thin coats rather than one thick one, allowing the base coat to dry thoroughly. “If you apply a coat over a thick coat that’s not dry underneath, you may get indentations or smudges,” he says. “Also, thick coats are more likely to chip at the tips.”
06.
Be a sole survivor
Few things are more embarrassing (or more painful) than sunburnt feet. And with the survival rate of those with malignant melanoma on the foot significantly lower than those with skin cancer elsewhere on the body, it pays to protect them from sun damage with a dry-to-the-touch spray sunscreen that will offer protection without being greasy. And don’t forget to apply to your soles if you’re lazing on a beach or sun lounger. Acral lentiginous melanoma (a type of skin cancer found on foot and the one that claimed the life of Mr Bob Marley) often appears on the soles of the feet and goes undetected.
The upside of wearing sandals is that, unlike boots, they allow your feet to breathe. The downside is that they don’t always provide the support your feet need. “Long-term use of flip-flops is never a great idea because they provide no support for the feet and can lead to cracking of the skin in the heels,” says podiatrist Ms Hiren Patel of Flawless Feet. “Wearing them around a pool is not a problem, but going on long walks will ultimately cause some sort of foot pain.”
The solution? Keep the flip-flops for the pool and invest in a more supportive sandal such as the classic Birkenstock, Officine Creative’s Angoras or Mr P.’s David sandals, which have ergonomically designed footbeds to support your feet when you’re pounding the streets sightseeing – or propping up a hotel bar.