Seven Myths About Luxury Watches, Busted

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Seven Myths About Luxury Watches, Busted

Words by Mr Alex Doak

1 February 2020

“They’re a rip off”

There’s no way around it: for something rendered superfluous by the smartphone in your pocket, and that takes up almost negligible real estate on your arm, a Swiss watch is pricey. You might already be in the habit of spending what seems a lot on your clothing, but at least that Brunello Cucinelli jumper keeps you warm, right?

Short of referring you to our recent animation on why watches cost so much, there are hundreds of reasons behind the high price tags, from the unique, endangered skills required to hand-make a mechanical movement, to the elaborate R&D and machinery, plus Switzerland’s astronomic cost of living. But ultimately, the cost is made worth it by two things: watches are an investment and will last longer than anything else in your closet, and they make for gloriously sentimental heirlooms. As long as you get it serviced every four or five years, the cost-per-wear of your Swiss watch is on an eternal downwards trajectory, from generation to generation. How many jumpers do that?

“They don’t keep good time”

No, they don’t. But only if you’re comparing a mechanical watch to a quartz-regulated one, in which you’re talking a loss or gain of around 15 seconds a year at the behest of a crystal vibrating at 32,768Hz, compared to the 15 a day managed by your wind-up’s 4Hz oscillating balance spring.

But it’s really not that bad in the grand scheme and perfectly serviceable for quotidian punctuality and a triumph of micro-engineering, given all the knocks, shakes, tremors and gesticulations your wrist inflicts on such a delicately poised constellation of components. The fact Parmigiani Fleurier’s test facility has a robot that replicates brushing your teeth just goes to show the challenge every fine watchmaker must overcome, and invariably does.

“A good watch costs more than your annual salary”

Elaborating on myth 01., all Swiss watches are created expensively, but some Swiss watches are relatively affordable. We’re still hovering around that four-figure plimsoll line, but the likes of JunghansOris and TAG Heuer all produce rock-solid everyday wearers, complete with sapphire-crystal domes, precision Swiss mechanics and water-resistant steel cases, all mounted on silkily machined bracelets, calfskin or high-tech rubber. Always under warranty, always fixable, as “Swiss” and “Made” as any highfalutin Vacheron Constantin or Piaget.

“The more jewels inside the better”

Admittedly a rather archaic myth, this one, but the jewel factor does still creep into many brands’ literature as a gleaming feather in their cap. They’re synthetically fabricated these days, and rubies do play a crucial role in alleviating the friction of pivot points, but it’s no longer a sign of quality or preciousness – that’s been overtaken in this day and age by the anachronistic miracle of their surrounding mechanics.

“‘Swiss Made’ means 100 per cent Swiss made”

According to a government tenet, to print “Swiss Made” on your dial means you must have sourced at least 60 per cent of your watch’s inherent value from Switzerland throughout the production process. Many think it should be more, and in most cases it is, but even if the odd crystal, dial, leather strap or screw comes from East Asia, it’s likely that that’s down to better value, not lower quality – and the saving is invariably passed on to you.

“Smartwatches will be the death of luxury watches”

Smartwatches are becoming a potential threat to Switzerland’s entry level – arguably justified in the case of Apple’s watch given the quality of build. But a few upgrades (in parallel to upgrading your mothership smartphone) is all it will take to re-convert recent defectors back to a lifetime’s “proper” watch. What’s more, the devastation wreaked by the Quartz Crisis means Switzerland is in no mood to be caught napping again. Brands including Montblanc and TAG Heuer have already positioned themselves at the sharp end of smartwatch tech, with their own innovations.

“Quartz is less sophisticated than mechanical”

Quartz-crystal-regulated technology has always been anathema to spring-and-cogs snobs. Not surprising when you consider that it almost killed off the traditional Swiss watch industry. But collars do seem to be loosening at last. For a start, quartz is the only genuine horological advancement of the 20th century, as anything else has just updated 18th-century mechanical principles. Plus, when you consider that horology is the pursuit of “keeping time”, quartz does it best in miniature form. What’s more, with the rise of the connected smartwatch, seen by some as a potential “second quartz crisis” (see myth 06.) the watch with a crystal heart is now enjoying something of a repatriation – a retro cool factor even, 50 years on from Seiko unveiling its Astron on Christmas Day in 1969. Pop the caseback of a quartz watch and you’re confronted by something a spanner-wielding Han Solo would recognise from the bowels of the Millennium Falcon.

Illustration by Mr Michael Kirkham