The MR PORTER guide to avoiding fashion faux pas.

We’re into month two of 2018 and it’s safe to say that things are already off to a weird start. The US is reeling from the Tide Pod Challenge, while in the UK, debate rages over whether lateness is a legitimate reason for resigning from a government post, and platform Crocs are now available on the open market for non-ironic purchase.

But while much of the world seems to be in a continual state of confusion, there are certain constants upon which one can rely. Such as the inevitability of the NFL’s MVP curse (to which even Mr Tom Brady succumbed this weekend). Or some inviolable rules about what not to do when putting clothes on in the morning.

When it comes to the latter, there are some basic principles that have been and always will be true. Sure, trends come and go and fashion evolves. But some things in style never change. Even if they’re not necessarily positive.

With the hope of stamping them out for good, the MR PORTER team has come up with seven common crimes in the world of men’s fashion. If you’re innocent of them all, pat yourself on the back. Guilty of one or two? Stop now, and we’ll never mention this again. Find out more below.

WEARING A SHIRT THAT’S TOO TIGHT

Wearing a shirt should, like walking, be fairly straightforward. But, also like walking, some people mess up even this basic activity. Essentially, when it comes to wearing a shirt, if your nipples can be seen, or there are stretch lines across the chest, it’s too tight. A good rule of thumb is, if you can’t move your arms freely, you’re doing it wrong. Fixing this mistake is easy. Get yourself measured, consult the sizing guide, and remember that – especially where casual shirts are concerned – it’s OK to loosen up a little.

CASUAL BOW TIES

Yes, Mr Kanye West made this look kind of cool back in 2004. But you are not Mr Kanye West (this applies to many areas of life). And, in case you hadn’t noticed, he’s more into Balmain these days, anyway. If you’re at an appropriate formal occasion, or are a waiter/art historian/history teacher/antiques dealer, a bow tie is fine. Otherwise, it makes you look like a minor character in a bad indie film or a mime, and you don’t want to be either of those. It also exposes your desperate desire to look “cool”, which is the very thing you need to conceal in order to fulfil it (see also sunglasses indoors). If you really want to add a bit of irreverence to your look, try a bold graphic print instead.

DOING UP THE BUTTONS ON A BLAZER

Despite being a well-worn topic of conversation when it comes to style (the debate dates back to the time of King Edward VII, whose portly frame is said to have started the convention), some men still seem to get the whole smart jacket/button thing wrong. And, probably because it’s so talked about, doing up all the buttons on your jacket is one of those things that makes people irrationally angry, even when it doesn’t directly affect them. Another very easy fix, this. On a three-button suit, the rule about which buttons to fasten is (in order, from top to bottom): sometimes, always, never. For a play-by-play on how to wear your blazer, you could do worse than take your inspiration from these guys.

GETTING YOUR TIE AND COLLAR WRONG

If you have even a basic grasp of geometry and aesthetics – if you have working eyes, basically – there really is no excuse for your tie knot and collar width to be wildly disproportionate. But let us look into the rules. If you’re wearing a spread-collar shirt, a skinny tie is a poor choice. Similarly, if you’re wearing a narrow collar, a thick tie with a four-in-hand knot will also look mismatched. You want to create balance. Consider your face shape, the width/length of your neck, and the width of your jacket’s lapels, then select a shirt and tie knot that feel proportionate to all of them. Another nifty tip to consider: if you’re wearing a jacket, match the width of the widest point on your lapel with the widest point on your tie. Easy.

DRESSING TOO YOUNG FOR YOUR AGE

Age-appropriate dressing is a tricky subject because every decade of a man’s life brings with it a new set of conventions, challenges and ideas. The hype sneakers that look effortless on a 21-year-old can come across as weird and desperate on a 55-year-old. Although, conversely, the well-cut, simple, statesmanlike pieces you should be investing in in your forties and fifties seem to look good at most stages of your life. Either way, for gentlemen over a certain age, it feels most dignified to err on the side of timelessness. We recommend investigating pieces from Brunello Cuccinelli, Church’s, or Tom Ford for starters. And leave the streetwear well alone.

MAKING A MESS OF TIE LENGTH

When you think about ties, they’re quite a strange concept to begin with, especially in today’s informal world. So it’s a good idea to make yours as inconspicuous as possible. Too short looks like you’re a sixth former. Too long and it all gets a bit Mr Donald Trump. Since their invention in the 17th century, there has been plenty of debate about correct tie length. The answer is simple and easy to achieve: the tip of yours should just avoid touching your belt buckle (imaginary or otherwise).

BEING CAREFREE WITH HEADWEAR

As with everything in life, context is crucial. It’s OK to wear a baseball cap while doing some DIY, fishing, or even playing baseball. But it’s usually not a great choice for a wedding. Similarly, that musician-wearing-a-trilby-jeans-and-trainers-look is not fooling anyone. You work in marketing. Err on the side of caution and remember what your dad (should have) told you: every hat, more often than not, ought to serve a purpose. If you do want to experiment with a decorative hat, there are many men who pull it off well. To ensure you do, too, consult our exhaustive guide here on wearing everything from a fedora to a panama.

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