THE JOURNAL
Messrs Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey in The Wolf Of Wall Street, 2013. Photograph by Photo 12/Alamy
The magic words that will get your far in the office (and at home).
Picture the scene: you’re trapped in a meeting. Time seems to have stopped. (It may even have started going backwards.) Many words have been spoken, but very little seems to actually have been said – and much less done. If you can relate to this scenario, you’re likely to also be acutely aware of its antithesis: a quick, efficient and productive meeting which feels like everyone is on the same page.
It’s safe to say that – especially during meetings – good communication is crucial. But being economical with language is about more than getting out to lunch on time. It’s about saying what you mean, helping others to understand it, and, critically, causing some form of action to take place afterwards, too. Of course, this isn’t limited to the workplace. As you’re undoubtedly aware, it also helps to be a good communicator in your personal life as well.
But good communication is not simply, as the saying goes, an art. It’s also a science – with methods and approaches that humans have been developing and refining since the time of Aristotle. For those who prefer brevity, the good news is that The Communication Book, published by Penguin on 5 April, contains 44 hard-and-fast rules that will improve your interactions with everyone from the intern at work to your mother-in-law at the weekend.
We’ve chosen three of the most useful to get you started.
GET STRICT WITH MEETINGS
TED talk staple Mr Seth Godin says that there are only three kinds of meetings. In the first, a group of participants are informed about something by another group. In the second, a group gathers in order to discuss a certain topic. And in the third, a person or group of people seeks permission from others in order to do something. The thing that usually gets a meeting off on the wrong foot, however, is if the people in it have different opinions on which of the above types of meeting they are participating in. The way to remedy this? Simple. The Communication Book recommends, for a start, limiting all meetings to 15 minutes. This ensures that all participants are properly briefed beforehand, and know exactly what has to be achieved in the allocated time. The book also recommends a “no smartphone” policy, which encourages everyone to stay focused and also take notes by hand. Hey, if it’s good enough for the Obama administration, it’s good enough for you.
BE A BALANCED BOSS
If you’ve ever had a job, then it’s very likely you will have had a boss. And, as you’ll know, they are, shall we say, variable in quality and temperament. The Communication Book recommends improving your own bossing technique by first visualising the best boss you’ve had – and then the worst. What distinguishes them from each other? It’s quite likely that the better one was also a superior communicator: someone who made you feel as though you were giving your best each day, and helped you to understand exactly why. The Communication Book offers three general tips to replicate this. First, don’t criticise. While you’re allowed to evaluate the work and performance of an underling, try to use “we” in order to keep the accusations to a minimum. Second, give praise – but not too much. Don’t lower your standards, and keep them striving to improve. Finally, practise what you preach. Leading by example shows you know what you’re doing – which in itself commands respect.
ALWAYS BE OPEN TO COMPROMISE
One of the trickiest situations you’ll encounter in the workplace is one in which you irreconcilably disagree with another’s point of view. In this scenario, you’ll have to enter the psychic UFC cage of negotiation in order to find out whose solution will be put into practice. The Communication Book offers a few rules that will help to get the outcome you want when negotiating. Most importantly, focus on the topic at hand – not your relationship with the person you’re talking to. Thinking about whether they’ll like you or not after you force them to capitulate will distract you from your negotiating position. Next, try to remember that you probably won’t achieve a “perfect” outcome. Decide where you think the “good enough” resolution is, and stick to it. The Communication Book quotes Mr Jean Paul Getty on the subject, who says, “You must never try to make all the money that’s in a deal. Let the other fellow make some money too, because if you have a reputation for always making all the money, you won’t have many deals.”
Makes sense to us.
